Dress na Boku ga Yangotonaki Katagata no Katei Kyoushi-sama na Kudan:Volume 1 Chapter 1

Chapter 1 : Sherlock’s Disaster - The Reason Why I was Dressed as the Genius Young Girl

“Oh! Isn’t this royal lady Miss Glinda, the alleged genius young girl?” Endless cries sounded within the large hall in the palace. “She is the great mind and the jewel of Winstoria, the country known for its knowledge and arts!” “Even the king also lets her do things to her heart’s content!" “The king of Winstora sending her is the proof of our country Ehren’s alliance with theirs.”

Even in the evening, the hall was as bright as the noon. Hung on the ceiling way on top was a multitude of candles, burning delightfully. In this welcoming ceremony, the buzzing, prestigious men of Ehren surrounded the genius, Miss Glinda. This Miss Glinda these men landed their curious eyes on were me, who was wrapped in glamorous western-style clothes. I curled up my body like a caterpillar, walking forward, timid and afraid.

“So this is Miss Glinda, alleged to be a beautiful girl with lively, glamorous golden hair, burning eyes lit with fire, and a neck that rivals that of swans. But she just looks like any other adorable girl in their seventeen’s.”

“Don’t be fooled by her appearance. Miss Glinda can surpass a hundred scholars, a thousand businessmen, or even an army of ten thousand.”

Comments and debates flung into my ears incessantly. These were words I had heard over and over again since I was a child. Speaking of Doyle Glinda from the Winstoria Kingdom, she was a versatile genius: she was admitted with full marks into the central university of the Winstoria Kingdom when she was seven. And when she was twelve, she took the role as a professor. The next year, the king offered her a room to start serving as the deputy director of both the cultural department and the royal institute. Until then, when she was seventeen, she was a monster, being a genius not only at knowledge essentially but also at politics, economics, arts, and military affairs. This wasn’t any exaggeration. The appalling thing that tickled me was that all of these comments on Glinda were all authentic! However, there was a problem of paramount importance lying upon my eyes. It was the fact that the person bathed in the eyes of the prestigious people of Ehren, the person scared to death, was not the versatile genius Miss Glinda but an ordinary guy, her twin brother Sherlock Doyle—that would be me.

Ahhhhhhhhh. What the hell had happened? How did I end up here?

Everything started last week. At that time, I was still a downright loser doing household chores at Souvans, the capital of the Winstoria Kingdom. After breaking up with the flower-like girl who works in a bread store on the street, when I planned to weep over my wound, that guy appeared.

“Hey. Welcome back. You’re Sher-kun, right?”

A man had opened the door with a special key while I was out, and was now sitting on the sofa in the living room, smiling to me with an elegant face different from that of a thief. He had a long, slim body. He was wearing a black jacket, a black sleeveless garment, back pants, black gloves—everything he wore was black—even the hair bound behind his back was black. The tender, shimmering eyes were yet of a deep so blue one could not see any falseness in it. Sher, the name he called me, was my nickname. My dad was a businessman born in the Orlando Kingdom on the west side. My mum was from the Romasia Kingdom on the south side. They used to call me as Sher when I was still a child. Until then, no one would call me Sherlock or Shirley but Sher instead. However, since I became a return student after failing the preparation test for university, my small amount of friends was gone. As such, I felt detested to see this smiling person in front of me, and I couldn’t imagine comparing this man of success in his life to me, a loser in everything, even in his love affairs.

“Who are you?”

I couldn’t fathom why the smile on his face grew wider and larger after I had questioned him with such an attitude.

“Oh. I’m sorry for my belated self-introduction. I’m Helmut Dahlberg, a colleague of your sister as well as a diplomat.”

Dang. He really was one of those people familiar with Glinda. A diplomat? They are the first-grade civil servants. How dare he just come in recklessly as he wanted to. Was he Glinda’s lover? He had a good look, unfortunately, Glinda wouldn’t fall in love with any male.

“If you’re looking for Glinda, she will either be in the cultural department or the royal institute. She won’t return home normally. And she’ll be at Ehren next week. The king has called her to serve as a home teacher of the king’s children. Shouldn’t you know of this from the newspapers?”

Ehren was a small island country in the west and had been shutting itself from other countries for a very long time a while ago. About ten years ago, the present king, called as the hero king or the deity king, declared that their country would now be going to actively absorb cultures from other countries. At spring of this year, Ehren and the Winstoria kingdom formed a new alliance, and as the proof of their union, Miss Glinda, the country’s proud genius young woman, was sent to Ehren to be the home teacher of the King’s children. Nevertheless, compared to my sister, I had no strengths, having to depend on my sister even for my basic needs. Not to mention I failed the preparation test for university and was ditched by my girlfriend. There was not a single attachment of my sister to me, a failure with no sign of a future of any kind.

“We need your help, Shre-kun.”

“Me? Aren’t you looking for Glinda?”

“I’m sorry, Sher-kun.”

His think, long fingers stretched to me, took off my glasses, and then loosened the knot of my bundled hair, my tousled hair pointing to all directions.

“W-What are you trying to do?”

The diplomat, brimming with masculine-sense, glared at my panicking face directly and nodded his head afterward.

“Yes. Indeed.”

“What? Indeed?”

“Sher-kun. How many fingers do I have here? Can you see them?”

Neglecting my question with a seeming attitude, the diplomat then raised his fingers.

“Two.”

“How about this?”

I stopped for a while.

“Three.”

“Your eyesight is well. Why are you wearing glasses?”

“This is my freedom! Now, give me back my glasses!”

Out of my expectation, the diplomat swiftly dodged my stretching hand and showed a genuine, amiable smile.

“Sher-Kun, you’re a wonder like no other. These eyes you have. This nose. These lips. This neck and limbs. Even your waist is small. With such white skin, short figure, and high voice—everything is perfect! There is no other boy who would be suitable to wear Glinda’s clothes!”

“What are you talking about, you per—!”

The creeps got on me. Wasn’t the fact that he said I was very suitable for my sister’s clothes proof that he was a pervert? Some kind of pervert that loves boys? Seeing me back off, the perverted diplomat heaved a deep sigh.

“The truth is that Glinda have been missing.”

“Ha?”

Missing? Glinda?

“Two days ago, she wrote down on the table in the cultural department: ‘From now on, Glinda Doyle will resign from all matters.’”

Glinda Doyle resigned from work? Not long, my breathing patterns accelerated, my heartbeat raced, even some sweat started to ooze out.

“Hey! But look, Glinda is so mischievous and elusive—she’s a bit different from normal people.”

Even when Glinda was so mischievous, I was sure that she wouldn’t bring hassle to others by getting lost after the extravagant news of her visiting Ehren. Even if she was so elusive, capricious, self-centered, and taking no heed of the feelings of others at all, she would still take on the king’s orders with a simple nod...oh, actually, maybe she won’t. Then, what the...how terrible! How terrible this would be!

“But! Glinda she would definitely come back after a while like nothing happened!”

Looking at me, who was sweating from head to toe, from the mirror, the diplomat Helmut stared at me with a stern look.

“If this was possible, the emperor’s military must have found her in these two days. However, no dice. They haven’t found her yet.”

“The emperor’s military...”

What a huge matter this enlarged into! Blood was drained from me momentarily. What should I do now, Glinda!

“The problem at hand is that the ship to Ehren will leave tomorrow. We must find a way—any way—to put Glida on that ship.”

“Y-Your face is too close. Okay. Just tell the king of Ehren that Miss Glinda’s sickness has deteriorated, and the event has to be postponed.”

“Impossible,” he refuted distinctly, “many countries have been fixing their attention at this event—Glinda’s going to Ehren. This can result to breaking the friendship bond between Ehren and our country. It’s a very important political problem.”

“Your face...is really too close! So, what should we do?”

My sense of premonition grew larger gradually. I was only an ordinary peasant with a famous sister. I was only a stupid love fool and shut-in, waiting to be called to the army force. Hold on a minute—does this mean I have to... ‘Interesting History Documents’, a book I favoured, suddenly popped up in my mind. It was about a female swindler who pretended to be a duke’s illegitimate daughter to be sent to another country to be married as a princess. There was also some kind of fool called Calnucker who was referred as the red army lord of Orlanda and a hero of some sort. He even found someone to do his university preparation test for him—this nonsense composed the story. And while I was reading the book, I retorted here and there, laughing and thinking how impossible it was for those things to occur. Facing and lying on the walls of the narrow room, I, trembling vehemently, was chased down by the black-cloaked diplomat like those cat-chase-rat games, with the diplomat having that bright, eager smile.

“Sher-kun, please take on Glinda’s role in being a home teacher of the children of Ehren’s king.”

My mind became void all of a sudden.

“No way! This is too difficult!”

What a ridiculous idea.

“Even if Glinda and I are twins, she’s a girl, and I a boy!”

“I know this as well. However, these are all tiny and insignificant matters when placed in line with affairs of the whole country.”

“Don’t say such things with such a stern look on your face! This is completely not a tiny matter! Aren’t boys and girls completely different form each other!”

“Well. What difference is there?”

Helmut stared at my body insolently.

“There’s no breast here. You see, the breast!”

“Glinda’s aren’t big too. Besides, pads will help.”

“Ha. I’m at puberty, you see. I’ll grow taller, even my muscles will gradually form. My beard will sprout one day, and my voice will become low and dry! My identity will definitely be revealed no less than two years of time! Glinda is someone who was admitted into the highest educational institute with flying colours when she was only seven, yet, being at seventeen, I even failed the preparation test for university. I’ll never take on the job well!”

I was surely not capable of taking her role. This was a definite ‘no’. But then, the diplomat Helmut just replied, ‘Hey. You won’t know until you try.”

Having that said with a lighthearted smile, he pushed me into the chariot, taking me into some big house, then bound my waist, stuffed some pads at my chest, dressed me nicely, smeared my hair meticulously with rose oil and bound my hair. In front of the large whole-scale mirror I could see a young girl with golden hair, wearing a vast amount of laced silk clothing—it was me, who looked very alike to Glinda! Although the face was almost the same, Glinda’s brother, I, was only an ordinary person from head to toe. It was because I hated to be compared to my sister that I had to cover my face and wear glasses, and went as far as letting my hair on the front all the way down. Ahhhhhhhhh. For all these seventeen years, I had hoped that I wouldn’t be alike to Glinda. Why...Why was my skin so bright and smooth, my eyes so glamorous, my eyebrows so long! My lips was as pink as my hairband, slightly trembling due to the forced treatment, so feeble and fragile that produced the adorableness one couldn’t stand from protecting. What should I do? I’m even mesmerised by my own charm! Holding my shivering shoulders, Helmut said with a friendly voice, “You’re perfect, Sher-kun. Now the mission for you to take on Glinda’s role is easy as cake. What a relief that the outside world didn’t know that Glinda has a twin brother. Moreover, the princes and princesses of the emperor are all still children. The oldest just having had his eleventh birthday a few days ago; and the youngest only five. You only have to teach them some basic math, like what the primary schools teach nearby. Isn’t this job as easy as cake? Of course, the elite military of the Winstoria Kingdom would risk their dignity just to search for Glinda. It won’t be long, probably half a month at most—no, with their experience, knowledge, and ability, one week would be able to do the job.”

“No. I want to go home! This is abduction. You hentai police who picked the wrong guy!!”

I would never agree to be under this torture for a total month however he tried to convince me. Like a child, I jumped up and down, waved my hands expressing dissatisfaction.

“If you continue to protest and escape, Glinda would be locked behind bars for treason.”

“Wuaghh.”

“Once this happens, and if this was the reason Ehren and the Winstoria Kindom fired off a battle, not only Glinda but also her relatives—you, that is—won’t be allowed to stroll on the streets ever again.”

“Wuuaghh.”

“No. You and your sister will be hung.”

“!”

This dark-hearted diplomat threatened me with a smile so genuine that the owner wouldn’t want even to kill a bug.

“For Glinda is a genius, it’s impossible to catch her if she escapes with simple methods. But, the country must do something in response to this incident: that will be letting you to be the scapegoat and take your sister’s place of imprisonment. Do you want to receive detention and be imprisoned for treason, or do you want to be welcomed extravagantly in the palace as a royal highness? Even someone as ordinary as you know how to choose, right? Sher-kun.”

Didn’t he just claim that the military of the Winstoria Kingdom are so excellent they could quickly catch Glinda? Then why was I to be the scapegoat for imprisonment? Wasn’t this contradictory? Forget it. This problem was too tricky for further investigation. I would have to acquiesce for now. War! Imprisonment! To be hung to death! I couldn’t fight these wild imaginations off my head, my stomach twisting together so strongly like never since (or maybe it was ascribed to my waist being bounded).

“Wuagh. I’ll let you be in charge.”

The next day, under the supervision of the gracefully smiling swindler Helmut, I was shipped to Ehren. I felt sick of the vibrant shaking feeling in the ship for it was the first time I had ever taken a ship ride. I spent the whole week of the voyage vomiting in a room, spewing out everything from my stomach. In these few days everything inside my body felt blank as ever, making me feel like a dry old mummy. When the ship voyage ended, I headed to the palace of Ehren slowly in a chariot beside two rows of soldiers holding their guns upright, entering a monumental building surrounded by high, solid walls. Guardians also stood along the building. In this sudden strict and tight atmosphere, I couldn’t act out any elegancy but to advance forward to the hall cautiously. I was wearing a dress, taking the role of a genius young woman. Crap—my stomach was strapped tightly—it felt terrible. Actually, everywhere on my body was strapped tightly. This strap must have been made from whalebones, for it pressed on my limbs so hard they were about to snap apart! What a torture! Those buttons behind was so pressed they seem to snap off too. Oh, how I felt like a sausage. Furthermore, what was wrong with this skirt! It was too heavy, like a piece of lead hanging on my waist. And this butterfly-knotted boot made from swan’s down was too small. Every step I take I would nearly miss the floor; my heels are starting to tremble. To uphold the integrity of the Winstoria Kingdom, the best dresses and boots are used in the welcoming ceremony of the Ehren king’s family. These costumes wouldn’t be seen on ordinary female workers. This was what the diplomat Helmut told me proudly. But why—why would I, a boy, have to pretend to be a princess!

“Don’t worry. Everyone will believe you’re an adorable young girl. Even people on the streets would want to hit on you, “ that Helmut guy blabbered endlessly and shamelessly.

To be hit on by some guy? How embarrassing. Wahh. My vision had been blurred. To be commented by some strange old freaks in the castle of another country—my small, thin nerves are soon to be torn apart. I had never experienced being the spotlight of so many people. Since childhood, I had kept a low profile of almost no sense of existence whatsoever. When I was at middle school, I summoned my courage to confess to a girl in the same class, but she replied to me with an angelic smile, “Who are you?” Hell, what? Why was that man over there, who has a beer belly, looking over here with a detested face? That man was wearing even more gorgeous clothes than the people around him. Hold on a minute. Was he the king? Did this mean he didn’t welcome me? His eyes grew with fire, as if telling me that someone as detestable as I had better go home. Wait. The king of Ehren should still be very young. Did he grow old so fast because he had to control a whole country, bearing on pressure and hard work an ordinary peasant like I couldn’t imagine? Suddenly, so refreshing a sound broke the air one couldn’t help shivering to it.

“Welcome to Ehren. It’s my pleasure and joy as king to welcome you versatile genius, Miss Glinda.”

What? His voice and his face didn’t match at all. By the way, that guy’s mouth had been shut all along. I averted my vision to a side. There stood a lovely thing with even more gorgeous clothes than the fat guy, wearing a cloak with fur lining. I stared my eyes wide at that thing, opening my mouth wide like an idiot. What? A beauty? Was this an artwork this country collected? Or was this a world heritage? It felt completely natural to use these exaggerated words to describe this thing, for it had the beauty that humans wouldn’t have had. The loose silver hair bundled behind its back fell on its cyan, glossy clothes softly. Its skin was as if made from plaster. Its small chin had a perfect curve. Under its graceful eyebrows were deep blue eyes resembling the colour of the ocean of the northern countries. Its lips bloomed a delightful, magnificent smile. Every part of its body was like a female, but there wasn’t any feebleness lying within: captivating dignity and exceeding glamour emanated from its head to toe.

“The king of Ehren, Cecillo, had the beauty like gods.”

As if dancing from above the heavens, his silver and blue stature made everything around him lose their colours. Only one glance was enough to make one to eagerly bow to this beautiful and elegant lad. On a side note, when I first heard of him from the newspapers, I scoffed at them in my heart that in fact he was just an old and unpopular man. But he was really a king with transcending beauty. It felt odd and subtle to compare him to ‘super beautiful women’...actually this was my failed attempt in making an ironic statement. It seemed he was too beautiful a soul that induced feebleness in my legs. Oh, how many people in the world would be like him? According to the ‘World Royal Illustrations’, there would be over thirty, but were all of these shimmering creatures monsters? They weren’t human to start with! When I looked at myself who pretended to be Glinda through the reflection of the mirror, I was stunned and thought what a gentle, beautiful person I was. But now that I compare myself to the king, I was in fact just a cricket—no, an ant—no, not even a flea! The fat-stomach guy still stared at the stunned me with a surprised look. When I noticed this, I came back to my senses.

“I-It’s the first time we’ve met. I’m Glinda Doyle. Thanks to you, this voyage was very painfu—no, pleasant.”

I pinched the lower part of my skirt and lowered my head. Arghhh. My waist was still strapped tightly, about to collapse by the increasing tension. Wearing a lady’s costume in front such a beautiful person! A lady’s custom that would even lose when compared to that man! Wuaghhh. How humiliating. Around Cecillo gathered some children, who obviously were his children and were nurtured pretty well. They began to introduce themselves before their father.

“I’m the eldest prince, Ryuuju. I’m excited to learn about the costumes, traditions and culture of the Winstoria kingdom,” the black-haired and blue-eyed successor said formally with his chest held high and face tensed. It was obvious he had been doing too much to establish relationships. With a bit of stammer, he introduced himself statically. The eleven-year-old boy heaved a sigh after trying to be brave and kick off his nervousness.

“I’m the eldest princess, Seria,” a young pretty girl with mysterious magenta eyes and lustrous silver hair said while pinching her skirt to salute elegantly. She succeeded her father’s beauty and looked like a doll with life blown into her! Though it was a dool with no vigour in her eyes as well as her expression. Her hands, her neck, and her ankle that could barely be seen all were of the lavish white colour. The eldest daughter was about nine. There was no sense of uneasiness to include her into the most beautiful princess in the ‘World Royal Illustrations’. On top of that, every member of this family were of the beauty type. While the eldest daughter captivated me and took my attention aloft, my shirt was suddenly pulled downwards. Looking down, I saw two adorable children with hair as bright and golden as wheat that was bundled with two butterfly knots; their eyes that gazed upon me had the azure colour of the summer sky.

“My, my. Seria-sama is too beautiful that Miss Glinda didn’t pay attention to me. I’m the second sister, Sarasa. Isn’t Miss Glinda a genius? I thought Miss Glinda would grow horns. Aren’t Miss Glinda just another normal person?”

You call me normal? What a stun.

“Glinda’s brother has the same face as his sister, but he hasn’t any attraction like hers.”

“How ordinary Sher is.”

I had known this for a long time. There wasn’t any need to repeat this. I became a bit dejected—but of course I hid it from my face. Then, another princess with the exact face of Sarasa said with a delightful tone, “I’m the third daughter, Orie. I’ve heard, Miss Glinda, that you have wings on your back.”

“Your eyes would emit colours of wavelengths dancing over the spectrum!”

“Your mouth would puff fire, obliterating the armies of the enemy!”

“Have you hid your horn away? Can you let Sarasa and I have a peep—just once, all right?” They pulled on my collar, shaking side to side, with an anticipating look on their faces. I wasn’t sure whether the authentic Glinda had wings or not, but it was sure I hadn’t any! When I was struck dumb, unknowing of how to reply, Cecillo said with a genuine smile, “The horns or wings of Glinda are things rarely seen, like golden leaves, icy leaves, or clovers. Even I, as a fellow-worker, haven’t seen any. But alas, princesses, you will be living with Glinda for two years, so there might be a chance for you to see Glinda with her horns grown.”

“Wuaghh. That’s great! Orie!”

“Really? How I want to fix my eyes upon Miss Glinda every moment.”

The twin princesses held their fingers together, jumping up and down in joy. Their golden hair vibrated along their actions like rabbit ears. I threw glances of resentfulness at Helmut, yet he pretended he didn’t see me, and hid behind the sisters, remaining silent. The youngest boy put his hand behind his back politely and came in front of me.

“Glinda. This is the second son, Shin.”

“...”

With brown hair and green eyes, the prince looked up at me hazily. Different from the eldest princess, he seemed to be quite weird.

“Nice to meet you, prince.”

“...”

He gave no response. Probably he was just five and he didn’t know what was going on. So, the eldest prince was Ryuuju, the eldest princess Seria, the second and third princesses Sarasa and Orie, who are sisters, and the second prince Shin. Wah. My head had gone all twirling just by trying to remember their names. So, ‘Glinda’ would be the home teacher of these children. But what should be taught to these princes and princesses? Paying change or some history was enough, wasn’t it? Prince Ryuuju was unhappy. Princess Seria kept her icy face. Princesses Sarasa and Orie was so elated a strong sunlight beam that pierced through me. And Prince Shin was now having a nap—a tough job indeed.

◇ ◇ ◇

The king smiled elegantly at me, who was getting more nervous and tense.

“My princess just had a sixth child a few days ago, so she is now recuperating and thus couldn't come to greet Miss Glinda.”

Now that he mentioned it, I hadn’t really seen his princess yet. And I hadn’t seen any other young women in the hall save me—oh, I wasn’t a woman to start with! When I was still at a loss, the king suddenly came in front of me. What the...! I felt that my hand was grasped! To be treated with such an intimate attitude, I panicked, my heart raced and my conscious seemed to fly away. Wuaghh. My hand was grasped tightly by a man. How disgusting. What was wrong with this guy? Had he fallen in love with me? Wasn’t it too impetuous of him, a king, to express such good will in front of his vassals and the messengers of the Winstoria kingdom?

“I’m welcoming you along with the princess’s part, Miss Glinda. Please be a teacher not only of the children but also of me.”

Hey. I wasn’t Glinda! I was only an ordinary peasant who read the miscellaneous and social pages of newspapers, ‘Interesting History Documents’, and blabber about the bad words of geniuses, heroes, and fame to acquire happiness, aiming to be a NEET. Sweat bubbled up drop by drop. (By the way, let go of my hand, you sexual-harassing king!) I squeezed a soft voice uneasily, “I-I’ll work hard to meet your expectations.”

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