Clannad:SEEN3415
From Baka-Tsuki
| This Clannad SEEN page has been marked to require cleanup so that it matches the Guidelines necessary for processing. Please see Template:Clannad:Cleanup for more information. |
| This SEEN page also has an alternative translation, which may be viewed at the Talk page. |
Return to the main page here.
Contents |
[edit] Translation
[edit] Comments
What is normally known as playing cards is denoted as trump in Japanese. It's the same deck of cards.
[edit] Text
// Resources for SEEN3415.TXT
#character 'Female Student'
// 女生徒
#character '*B'
#character 'Ryou'
// 椋
#character 'Student'
// 生徒
<0000> The bell chimes, signalling the end of class.
// Prev: The bell chimes to signal the end of class.
// チャイムが鳴り授業が終わった。
<0001> \{Female Student} "Um..."
// \{女生徒} 「あの…」
<0002> \{\m{B}} "... hmm?"
// \{\m{B}} 「…ん?」
<0003> An unexpected voice prompts me to turn around.
// 不意=Sudden/Unexpected
// Prev: A voice makes me turn my head.
// 不意に声をかけられ振り向く。
<0004> \{Female Student} "Ah..."
// \{女生徒} 「あ…」
<0005> Fujibayashi Ryou...?
// 藤林椋…?
<0006> She's the class representative.
// このクラスの委員長をしている奴だっけな。
<0007> To be precise, she is the girl who was forced to become the class respresentative...
// Or rather, she is being forced to be the class respresentative...
// もっとも、正しくは委員長をやらされている奴、なんだろうけど…。
// No mention of being voted, just being made to do it
<0008> If I remember correctly, she's Kyou's younger twin sister.
// 確か杏の双子の妹だったな。
<0009> She hesitates as she stands by my desk... her eyes dart left and right nervously. // *
// Probably quite far removed from the original text, but I'll leave a placeholder sentence for now. Is she darting her eyes back and forth while walking towards him? Or while already standing there? --Polarem
// Prev: While darting her somewhat unreliable eye back and forth, she stands next to my desk.
// Previous Trans: Her eyes keep on rolling as she comes by my desk. – Jumpyshoes
// Lit. translation "Her flaky eyes swims left and right as she stands beside my desk." -DGreater1
// If the lit. translation mentions flakiness, shouldn't the revision retain something similar to reflect that? It doesn't seem too difficult to add and it makes sense. - ARCC
// The "flaky" is actually "reliable", or with the extra kana attached to the kanji "unrealiable". - Shi-an
// 頼りなさげな目を左右に泳がしながら、俺の机の隣に立っている。
<0010> \{Ryou} "Uh... um..."
// \{椋} 「え…えっと…」
<0011> \{\m{B}} "... what?"
// \{\m{B}} 「…なに?」
<0012> \{Ryou} "Ah... um... here..."
// \{椋} 「あ、あの…これ…」
<0013> She presents a sheet of paper to me.
// そう言って俺に差し出してきたのは一枚のプリントだった。
<0014> \{\m{B}} "... A love letter?"
// \{\m{B}} 「…ラブレター?」
<0015> \{Ryou} "Eh? No, it's no--..."
// \{椋} 「え? ち、ちがいま──…」
<0016> \{\m{B}} "I didn't think you were that bold."
// \{\m{B}} 「見かけによらず大胆だな?」
<0017> \{\m{B}} "To hand it directly to me; that's not an easy thing to do."
// orig TL: "Giving it to me just like that, aren't you quite courageous?"
// Prev. TL = "Not many people can express that directly."
// Prev. TL = "You've got real guts to be giving me something like this."
// Note: I hope I used the semicolon correctly. I feel this is much closer to the original Japanese
// Looks good! --Polarem
// \{\m{B}} 「むき出しで渡すなんて、なかなか出来る事じゃないぞ」
<0018> \{Ryou} "Um... it's not... a love lett--"
// \{椋} 「その…ラブ…レターとか…そんなのじゃないで──…」
<0019> \{\m{B}} "Then a death threat? I think handing it to me so openly classifies as bullying..."
// Upon investigation, a Japanese wikipedia article states that a "不幸の手紙" is actually a sort of chain-mail letter, where the
// receiver must give a copy of the letter to a certain amount of people within a time limit, or else they will suffer "不幸"
// (misfortune, sorrow, unhappiness). As far as I know the closest English equivalent is "chain mail", and that more often denotes
// an electronic spam mail. So although less faithful, the more logical "death threat" is probably the ideal TL.
// Delwack: openly sounds weird in English. Maybe personally? easily?
// \{\m{B}} 「じゃあ不幸の手紙か? こんなに堂々と渡すってのはイジメだと思うんだが…」
<0020> \{Ryou} "It's... not a death threat..."
// \{椋} 「ふ、不幸の手紙でもないと思います…」
<0021> \{\m{B}} "........."
// \{\m{B}} 「………」
<0022> \{Ryou} "........."
// \{椋} 「………」
<0023> \{\m{B}} "A challenge?"
// \{\m{B}} 「果たし状?」
<0024> \{Ryou} "~~~..." // *
// Is there an onomatopoeia for groaning? Her voice is a blend of "Oooh" and "Mmmm". I'm thinking we
// should get rid of all tildes in the game --Polarem
// \{椋} 「~~~…」
<0025> Fujibayashi's face reddens. // *
// I can't think of an English onomotopeia for shoving paper onto someone :-S Splitting 0026 in two instead --Polarem
// Orig: Thud...
// It's an onomotopeia, but I can't see a piece of paper making a thud sound as it's shoved into somebody. I'd suggest it be changed to "Thwack..." or something more suitable. - ARCC
// ぐっ…
<0026> As she forces the sheet of paper onto my chest. // *
// Alt (liberal): Somehow mustering the will, she forces the sheet of paper onto my chest. --Polarem
// Prev: Fujibayashi's face reddens as she forces the sheet of paper onto my chest.
// 藤林は顔を真っ赤にしながら、プリントを俺の胸に押しつけた。
<0027> \{Ryou} "It's... the printout given out during homeroom this morning."
// \{椋} 「あ、朝のHRの時に配られたプリント…です」
<0028> \{\m{B}} "That's it? How boring."
// \{\m{B}} 「なんだ、つまらねぇ」
<0029> I take the printout and shove it inside my desk without looking at it.
// Taking the printout without looking, I shove it inside my desk.
// 受け取ったプリントを見ないでそのまま机の中に押し込む。
<0030> It probably isn't that important anyway.
// どうせ大したプリントでもないだろうし。
<0031> \{Ryou} "........."
// \{椋} 「………」
<0032> \{\m{B}} "Hmm? Is there something else?"
// \{\m{B}} 「…ん? まだ何かあるのか?」
<0033> \{Ryou} "Um... well... I think it's better if you come to school on time."
// \{椋} 「ぁ…えっと…あまり遅刻とかしない方が良いと思うんです」
<0034> \{\m{B}} "... that's none of your business, really."
// \{\m{B}} 「…別におまえには関係ないだろ」
<0035> \{Ryou} "But... well... I think it'd be better if... you came to school on time, so..."
// Shouldn't this one have "i think", too? Also, there seems to be too much "you"-"you" here. She's phrasing to speculate, to avoid hints of offense at all rather than preaching and addressing Tomoya directly. No?
// Delwack: The problem with using a no-object sentence is that it sounds passive-agressive and patronizing in English, not inoffensive. Like: But... well... I think it's better... to get to school on time...
// \{椋} 「でも…その…学校には…ちゃんと来た方が良いと思いますから…」
<0036> \{\m{B}} "So when you're the the class representative, you can bug your classmates about their attendance, huh?"
// Prev. TL = "So just because you're the class president, you can tell off other classmates like that as well?"
// Alt - "So, now that you're class rep, you can go around and comment on the attendances of your classmates now, eh?" - Kinny Riddle
// Lit. = When is a class representative, even about the people in the same class' attendance one brings out one's mouth? (to mean intrusively comments) - Shi-an
// \{\m{B}} 「委員長ともなると、同じクラスの奴の出席にまで口を出すのか?」
<0037> \{Ryou} "T-that's not what I mean, but..."
// \{椋} 「そ…そういうわけじゃ…ないですけど…でも…」
<0038> \{Ryou} "... um..."
// \{椋} 「…その…」
<0039> Her eyes are becoming misty.
// ジワ…と目が潤む。
<0040> \{\m{B}} "........."
// \{\m{B}} 「………」
<0041> Maybe I went a bit too far.
// Orig: Maybe I was a little rough.
// 少し言い過ぎたかもしれない。
<0042> Apologize to her // Option 1 - to 0044
// 謝っておく
<0043> Ignore her // Option 2 - to 0113
// ムシする
<0044> \{\m{B}} "Sorry, I said a bit too much." // Option 1 - from 0042
// \{\m{B}} 「悪かったよ、ちょっと言い過ぎた」
<0045> \{Ryou} "No... it's my fault for bothering you so much..."
// \{椋} 「いえ…出過ぎたことを言った私が…悪いですから…」
<0046> \{Ryou} "... sorry..."
// \{椋} 「…すみません…」
<0047> \{Student} "Hey, \m{A}, don't make our class rep cry, will ya? Her sister's gonna come after you."
// \{生徒} 「おい\m{A}、委員長泣かすなよ。姉貴が飛んで来るぞ」
<0048> \{Ryou} "... it's okay... I'm not crying..."
// \{椋} 「…大丈夫です…泣いてませんから…」
<0049> I don't think that's what you should say when tears are building up in your eyes.
// 目を涙でうるうるさせて言うセリフでもないと思う。
<0050> For now, they haven't actually fallen, so I'll just pretend she isn't crying.
// とりあえず、目から零れてはいないから、泣いていないということにしよう。
<0051> \{\m{B}} "... well, I'll take your advice."
// \{\m{B}} 「…まぁ忠告だけはもらっとくよ」
<0052> \{Ryou} "Ah... o-okay..."
// \{椋} 「あ、は、はい…」
<0053> \{Ryou} "But... if you can... try not to be late."
// \{椋} 「でも、できれば…遅刻しないようにして下さい」
<0054> After saying that, Fujibayashi pulls a deck of cards out of her pocket.
// 藤林はそう言うと、上着のポケットからトランプを取り出した。
<0055> Then, she clumsily places the cards in her hand and shuffles them.
// そしておもむろにぎこちない手つきで札をくりだす。
<0056> Shuffle... shuffle... shuffle... shuffle...
// シュッ…シュッ…シュッ…シュッ…。
<0057> \{\m{B}} "...?"
// \{\m{B}} 「…?」
<0058> Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shu--
// シュッ…シュッ…シュッ…シュ──…。
<0059> \{Ryou} "Ah..."
// \{椋} 「あ…」
<0060> Clatter...
// Do cards clatter? – Jumpyshoes
// バララ…。
<0061> Her cards fall all over the floor.
// 派手に床にばらまいた。
<0062> \{Ryou} "Ah... ah... umm..."
// \{椋} 「あ…あ…う~…」
<0063> She quickly gathers the scattered cards and tries shuffling again.
// 慌てて床に落としたトランプを拾い集めると、また札をくりだした。
<0064> Seems she got it right this time.
// 今度はちゃんとくれたらしい。
<0065> She forms a badly shaped fan with the cards and presents it to me.
// 藤林はトランプを不格好な扇状に広げると、俺に裏を向けて差し出してきた。
<0066> \{\m{B}} "... huh? What...?"
// \{\m{B}} 「…え? なに…?」
<0067> \{Ryou} "... um... please."
// \{椋} 「…あの…どうぞ」
<0068> \{\m{B}} "... you want me to pick one?"
// \{\m{B}} 「…一枚選べと?」
<0069> \{Ryou} "P-pick three cards, please..."
// \{椋} 「さ、三枚選んで下さい…」
<0070> \{\m{B}} "........."
// \{\m{B}} 「………」
<0071> I don't know what the hell is going on...
// いきなりわけがわからん…。
<0072> Is she going to show me a magic trick?
// 手品でも見せてくれるのだろうか…?
<0073> I'll play along; I pick out three cards from the fan.
// とりあえずトランプの束から三枚抜き取る。
<0074> \{Ryou} "Please show them to me."
// \{椋} 「見せて下さい」
<0075> \{\m{B}} "Here."
// \{\m{B}} 「ほれ」
<0076> She carefully inspects the cards I picked.
// 俺の選んだ三枚の札をジッと見つめる。
<0077> \{Ryou} "... ah..."
// \{椋} 「…あ…」
<0078> \{\m{B}} "Hm?"
// \{\m{B}} 「ん?」
<0079> \{Ryou} "... \m{A}-kun... you'll be late tomorrow."
// \{椋} 「…\m{A}くん…明日遅刻です」
<0080> ... is she trying to pick a fight with me or something?
// 喧嘩売ってんのか…こいつ…。
<0081> \{\m{B}} "Hey... aren't you the one who told me not to be late? So what the hell is that about?"
// \{\m{B}} 「あのなぁ、遅刻しないで来いと言っといてなんだそれは?」
<0082> \{Ryou} "Ah... well... you'll encounter an old lady in trouble at the pedestrian crossing on your way here. You'll be late if you help her..."
// \{椋} 「あ…あの…学校に来る途中、横断歩道を渡れなくて困っているお婆さんがいて、手をかしてあげていたら遅刻してしまいます…」
<0083> \{Ryou} "But, you'll receive a lot of gratitude and a reward."
// \{椋} 「でもたくさん感謝されて、お小遣いとかもらえます」
<0084> \{\m{B}} "Wait a second! What's with this overly-detailed fortune-telling?!"
// \{\m{B}} 「ちょっと待てっ! なんだその具体性抜群な占いは?!」
<0085> \{\m{B}} "How could you tell me that with playing cards? They're not even tarot cards!"
// \{\m{B}} 「タロットとかならともかく、トランプでそんなこと言われて納得いくか!」
<0086> \{\m{B}} "And did you get that kind of visualization from numbers and marks alone?"
// \{\m{B}} 「数字とマークだけで、どうやってそんな事態が浮かび上がってくるんだ」
<0087> \{Ryou} "It's... a maiden's intuition..."
// "It's... a girl's intuition..."
// The Japanese line definitely says "inspiration", but all of us definitely know it should be intuition. I don't really know if this is wrong but basing it to how serious Tomoya comment about it, it's more like intuition. -DGreater1
// I agree, intuition is more more suitable. - Shi-an
// Use intuition. It makes way much more sense. The Engrish gets everyone sometimes, Clannad is no exception =/. - Delwack
// \{椋} 「お…乙女のインスピレーションです…」
<0088> Sixth sense in full power...
// 第六感フル稼働だ…。
<0089> What's more, she's pretty confident...
// しかも言いきってるし…。
<0090> \{\m{B}} "... could it be that you don't want me to come to school?"
// \{\m{B}} 「…ひょっとして実は俺に学校に来てほしくないとか…?」
<0091> \{Ryou} "T-that's not it..."
// \{椋} 「そ…そんなことないです…」
<0092> \{Ryou} "It's just... that's how the fortune turned out..."
// \{椋} 「ただ…占いでそう出ただけなので…」
<0093> \{\m{B}} "... fine. I definitely won't be late tomorrow."
// \{\m{B}} 「…わかった。明日は絶対遅刻しないからな」
<0094> \{Ryou} "Eh?"
// \{椋} 「え?」
<0095> \{\m{B}} "Even if I see a troubled old lady at the pedestrian crossing, I'll ignore her."
// \{\m{B}} 「横断歩道でお婆さんが困っていても見て見ぬフリだ」
<0096> \{Ryou} "I-I don't think that's a good idea..."
// \{椋} 「そ、それはよくないと思います…」
<0097> \{Ryou} "I think it's better to try to help people in trouble."
// \{椋} 「こ…困っている人は助けてあげないとダメだと思うんです…」
<0098> \{\m{B}} "No, I'll just leave her alone."
// \{\m{B}} 「いや、見捨てる」
<0099> \{Ryou} "But..."
// \{椋} 「でも…」
<0100> Ding, dong, ding, dong...
// XCN: Nuking all the "dang dong" sounds, because nobody says it that way in English.
// キーンコーンカーンコーン…。
<0101> \{Ryou} "Ah..."
// \{椋} 「あ…」
<0102> \{\m{B}} "Look, the bell's ringing, so go back to your seat."
// \{\m{B}} 「ほれ、チャイムが鳴ったぞ。自分の席に戻れ」
<0103> \{Ryou} "... O... okay..."
// \{椋} 「…は…はい…」
<0104> Fujibayashi drops her shoulders, looking depressed, and goes back to her seat.
// 俺に言われて肩を落としながら自分の席に向かう藤林。
<0105> Geez... I'm the one who's becoming depressed here...
// ったく…こっちの方が落ち込みたくなる…。
<0106> \{Ryou} "Um..."
// \{椋} 「あの…」
<0107> \{\m{B}} "What?"
// \{\m{B}} 「ん?」
<0108> \{Ryou} "You shouldn't... really worry about that fortune-telling."
// Prev. TL = "Don't really... worry about that fortune..."
// \{椋} 「占い…あまり気にしないで下さい…」
<0109> After saying that, she slowly returns to her seat.
// With that said, she slowly returns to her seat.
// それだけを言うと、藤林は小走りで自分の席へと戻っていった。
<0110> \{\m{B}} "........."
// \{\m{B}} 「………」
<0111> Maybe she really is trying to pick a fight with me...?
// やっぱりあいつは喧嘩売ってるんじゃないのか…?
<0112> The result of the unusual fortune-telling worries me a bit. // To SEEN0415 (0060 if you dubbed over Sunohara's tape, else 0277)
// 妙な占いの結果だけを残されて、少しブルーになった。
<0113> \{Student} "Hey, \m{A}, don't make our class rep cry, will ya? Her sister's going to come after you." // Option 2 - from 0043
// \{生徒} 「おい\m{A}、委員長泣かすなよ。姉貴が飛んで来るぞ」
<0114> \{Ryou} "... it's okay... I'm not crying..."
// \{椋} 「…大丈夫です…泣いてませんから…」
<0115> I don't think that's what you should say when tears are building up in your eyes.
// 目を涙でうるうるさせて言うセリフでもないと思う。
<0116> For now they haven't actually fallen, so I'll just pretend she isn't crying.
// とりあえず、目から零れてはいないから、泣いていないということにしよう。
<0117> I rest my chin on my hand and look outside the window.
// 俺は頬杖をつき視線を窓の外に向けた。
<0118> That is my signal that there is nothing left to talk about.
// もう話すことはないという意思表示。
// 意思表示 "Ishihyouji", literally "intention-indication/expression"
<0119> Seeming to understand, Fujibayashi drops her shoulders and leaves. // *
// I never heard of shoulders dropping, but shoulders drooping. -Amoirsp
// That plan is successful, so Fujibayashi drops her shoulders and leaves.
// As in, the plan was a success that's why Fujibayashi leaves. -DGreater1
// Previous Translation: "That plan went along and so Fujibayashi drops her shoulders and leaves."
// "それが伝わったんだろう" literally translates to "That was transmitted/conveyed to her most probably". - Shi-an
// それが伝わったんだろう、藤林は肩をおとして俺の机の前から去っていった。
<0120> ... maybe she still had something to say to me...? // To SEEN0415 (0060 if you dubbed over Sunohara's tape, else 0277)
// …もしかしたら、まだ何か言いたかったんだろうか…。
[edit] Script Chart
You may edit this page by clicking:
http://www.baka-tsuki.org/project/index.php?title=Template:Clannad:ScriptChart&action=edit
Other