Boku wa tomodachi ga sukunai:Volume5 Amusement Park ~ Black Dragon Chapter ~
 The Amusement Park ~Black Dragon Chapter~
And so, we reached the next, and final, day of our break.
We'd all arrived at Yokoshima Wonderland.
We met up earlier, at eight in the morning, at Tohya Station, rode the train for an hour, got off at the nearest stop, and rode the bus here for about 20 minutes.
It took about two hours, if all the waiting time for the bus and train for us to arrive at the amusement park was included.
Unlike Tohya's public sports center "Ryuuguu Land", this amusement park was the biggest in the whole area, and had a lively atmosphere full of families, young couples, and all kinds of other people because of that.
We all lined up to get in, leaving the actual buying of the tickets to Sena.
"Uohhhhh!? This is an amusement park!? Really really!? Uohh!?"
Screamed Maria, who'd been acting hyper ever since we all gathered up, at the festive entrance banner with sparkling eyes.
Maria had a white one piece on instead of her usual sister uniform, and had a cross hanging down from her neck as well. Seeing her silver hair rock back and forth as she innocently jumped all over the place was just like looking at a fairy.
"Oh yeah, hey Maria, have you ever been to an amusement park?"
"Nope! I lived a gloomy youth of studying alone in my room ever since I was little!"
"No, um, your youth hasn't ended yet. In fact, it's barely even started."
"Really!? Ahaha, my youth's barely even started! Ohhh!"
"...If you don't shut up I'll end that life of yours right here and now."
Yozora said with a look of displeasure to Maria, who was even louder than usual.
Yozora and Rika already looked like they were about to pass out after having to ride on the train at the same time as everyone commuting to school and work.
Yukimura was in his default spaced out mode, lacking any expression. He was wearing his usual maid uniform, and was attracting a ridiculous amount of attention from everyone around us like he always did.
Kobato looked really excited about the amusement park up until we all met up this morning, but was now looking upset after having Sena all over her for the duration of both the train and bus rides.
"Ahh~... Rika wants to go home now. Who cares about an amusement park."
Rika said with a tired look on her face as she wobbled her way around.
"Ahaha, Rika what are you saying!? Why would you go home already? You're really dumb~!"
Rika put a slight look of anger on her face in response to Maria's innocent laugh.
By the way, Rika was wearing her lab coat on top of her uniform as usual, but she wasn't wearing her glasses that were like her trademark up until a short while ago, and her hair was styled into a side tail.
"Ahaha! Hey~ Hey~ Onii-chan, what's that what's that!?"
Maria was pointing at a Ferris wheel we could see from the entrance.
"That's a giant version of an execution device used back in Mediaeval Europe. It's made to trample the victim, which is accomplished by attaching them to the outside of a giant wheel and then letting it spin, filling them with terror... The instant the wheel is about to make a full rotation you hear a ――SPLAT―― sound as the body is crushed as flat as a senbei cracker, signaling the end of the execution."
Yozora interrupted me, and told Maria another stupid lie in a very real-sounding serious voice.
The smile on Maria's face disappeared after hearing Yozora's lie.
"Eh... W-w-w-w-w-why is that in an amusement park!? I know amusement parks are for fun!"
"Oh, that. That's false information."
Then Rika joined in with Yozora.
"An amusement park is actually a way to quietly dispose of bad kids who don't do what they're told. People saying it's a fun place is just propaganda so that the bad kids won't resist when they're getting taken there."
"Khhh, t-that old hag tricked me!"
"Hmph, it's your own fault for getting tricked."
"T-that's not fair―― Adults aren't fair! Using propaganda isn't something you should do!"
"That's right, adults aren't fair. Looks like you've learned something new today, Ms. Maria."
"Although, getting smarter now isn't going to help you... Kukuku..."
"You have a point there, Ku Ku Ku..."
...You two sure work well together.
Maria's eyes went wide after seeing the evil smiles on Yozora's and Rika's faces.
"Y-you mean you took me to this amusement park because...!"
"Kukuku... You fell for their propaganda magnificently like the fool you are, foolish pawn of God... Your entrails will be spilled upon this land, and offered as a sacrifice to the God of Darkness, Asmodeus..."
Even Kobato was joining those two now.
"Uuuu~ Save me Onii-chan..."
Maria started getting teary-eyed as the three of them ganged up on her.
"Kukuku... Seeking assistance from my clansman is futile...!"
"O-Onii-chan is a good guy!"
"Imbecile... Just look at Kodaka's face... It's obvious he's a bad guy."
I retorted to Yozora who'd started insulting me.
"Y-you're wrong! Onii-chan might look like a bad guy, but his heart is pure! Right, Onii-chan!?"
Maria looked at me with eyes full of hope.
...I see... I look like a bad guy even in Maria's untainted eyes...
Having Maria say that to me when I know she doesn't mean anything bad by it only makes it hurt that much more...
"Kukuku... The gate to purgatory has already been opened... Your life has but a short while left..."
It was right that instant.
We all heard a loud "Kyaaaahhhhhh!" along with a loud rumbling sound.
Maria screamed with a terrified look on her face.
It was just the people riding the roller coaster who screamed, but I'm guessing Maria thought it was the death cries of children being executed.
"Kukuku... That just now was from an execution device known as a roller coaster in which you suffer intense pain by being dragged through the sky at high speeds. Those who ride it spend their final moments unable to do anything but cry and scream."
"Maria, we'll show you at least some compassion. You may choose whether you wish to be executed on the Ferris wheel or the roller coaster."
"Kukuku, it's your turn next..."
"Gyahhhhhh! Gyahhhhhh!! Gyahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!"
"Shut up, what are you yelling for?"
It was Sena who came up behind Maria and lightly tapped her head.
"Ah, thanks for getting the tickets."
"Here commoners, your entry tickets and free passes. You better be thankful for them. This one's your kid's ticket Maria."
Maria let out a scream and ran away as Sena went to give her the ticket.
"...What's with her?"
Sena tilted her head in confusion.
I sighed, and explained to Maria that Yozora and Rika were lying, and that an amusement park was actually a fun place.
"Ghhh... y-you tricked me! That's dirty! Adults are dirty! You're as dirty as poop!"
"Hurry up or we'll leave you behind little girl."
"Kukuku... You may as well go and get lost in here..."
Yozora and the rest all went to grab their tickets and free passes from Sena while looking at Maria, who was still mad, out of the corner of their eyes.
"Ugahhhh! You people! You're such poop! You're total poop!"
I walked through the amusement park gates with Maria, who was chasing Yozora and the rest as she yelled at them.
"Uohhhh! Uohhhh! Yahooo!!"
Maria was in a good mood again after a few steps past the front gates.
It was really packed trying to get in, but was actually pretty spacious once you got in. In fact, it looked like you could run all over the place without any problem.
There was a merry-go-round, roller coaster, and pirate ship ride nearby, and none of them had a particularly long line.
Maria wasn't the only one getting excited either.
"S-so this is the legendary amusement park...! Wow..."
Rika, who'd escaped the crowd of people and recovered her stamina, opened her eyes wide and started twitching her nose.
"Aha, so that's what you'd call a merry-go-round!? This is the first time I've seen one so close up! There really are horses spinning around it! So c~u~t~e~♥!"
That innocent smile on her face was so cute I might've actually fallen for her if she wasn't Rika.
"Although, Rika does have a sex toy version of a merry-go-round in her room!"
...That seriously creeped me out.
"Huh... so this is an amusement park..."
Sena said as she looked all around us, brimming with curiosity.
"Eh, Sena have you never been to an amusement park before?"
Sena started to blush after I asked her, and she replied with,
"S-so what if I haven't? Papa's always busy with work, and it didn't look like it'd be much fun anyway..."
"Hmph... How very ignorant of you to have never even gone to an amusement park before, Meat."
"I don't want to hear that from someone who came and spent the whole time reading alone!"
Sena yelled at Yozora and her criticism.
"We came all the way out here to have fun, can you two give it a rest for once...?"
I said, tired of them always having to fight over every little thing.
"Mu... You're right. Kobato-chan, go have tons of fun today, ok? With me of course!"
Kobato wore a look of utter disgust as she hid behind my back.
"Alright then, let's get a move on. What should we ride first?"
I asked everyone, and was greeted with an instant reply.
""""The Black Dragon!!""""
Yozora, Sena, Rika, and Kobato all yelled the same answer at me.
Their eyes seemed to have a bit of a sparkle in them.
I couldn't stop myself from cringing a little.
"The Black Dragon".
That was the name of Yokoshima Wonderland's main attraction, the largest roller coaster in the entire world.
It went up to 150 km/h, had a max height of over 100 meters, and the whole thing was roughly 2,500 meters long.
The rails, pillars, and everything else were painted jet black, and had the same kind of intimidating feel to it that a real black dragon would have.
It was set up all the way at the very back of the park, but you could see it clearly even from where we were.
"Y-you want to go for The Black Dragon right away? Seriously? Are you insane!?"
"I told myself I was gonna ride it no matter what when Papa gave me the tickets~"
Sena sounded happy about it.
"I was researching this park last night, and the more I looked at The Black Dragon's specs, the more I was fascinated by it. I want to ride it as soon as possible."
Rika said, while breathing wildly through her nose.
"I-It's not like I stayed up all night staring at the homepage worrying about which thing to ride, ok? I just figured we should ride it since it's so popular."
Yozora started spitting out an excuse all of a sudden. I wonder if she was embarrassed about doing the same thing as Rika.
"This is my revenge for getting stuck at the height check before... Kukuku... Subduing a black dragon with my power of the Exalted Night is but a simple task..."
Kobato said with her usual chuckle.
"I don't really get it, but the name sounds cool! I want to ride that black dragon thing too!"
"The Black Dragon... A black dragon... Truly a fitting name for a true man."
Looks like even Maria and Yukimura want to ride it now.
Doesn't look like there's any way to avoid it now...
"F-fine, we'll ride it later, but let's warm-up on something easier first..."
I tried to buy some time for now.
"I don't need any warm-up."
Sena said, bursting at the seams with confidence.
Seriously, she's never even been to an amusement park before. Just where does she get that confidence of hers from... No, wait, maybe it's because she's never been on one before so she can't imagine how scary it is.
"Hehe, Kodaka-senpai, are you..."
Rika showed me a teasing smile.
I gulped, causing a sadistic smile to rise to Yozora's face as she said,
"Kodaka, you're scared of riding The Black Dragon, aren't you?"
"...Kh, yeah! That's right! So what if I'm scared!? That thing wasn't made for humans to ride in!"
It was frustrating, but I admitted she was right.
The truth is, I rode it once before when I came here with Dad and Kobato. (By the way, Dad really likes these thrill rides, despite his age).
Unlike Dad, I'm not very good with thrill rides, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy a normal roller coaster or pirate ship ride.
But The Black Dragon... that thing's on a whole different level.
To start, you go up the first hill―― Right after the ride starts you can hear the click clack of the carts as you slowly ascend farther and farther from the ground.
You keep going up, even past the top of the Ferris Wheel nearby, causing your fear to grow faster and faster.
And then, once your fear has hit its peak―― You fall.―― You don't ride the coaster down, you literally fall!
The slow pace you'd been going at up until then quickly reaches the ride's maximum speed as you take a nose dive.
My heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest by the time I'd reached that point, but the nightmare doesn't end here. There are more nose dives, loops, and corkscrews that you race through at insane speeds while passing right by the ground and the ride's support pillars. It's a hell so intense you think you're really going to die as you loop through it again and again without a pause.
I swore to myself I'd never ride that thing again after those three minutes of torture that seemed like an eternity.
My body is shaking from just remembering it...
"No offense, but... that thing is like the amusement park's last boss. It's not something people like you who only just came here to play could handle."
"That just makes me want to ride it even more! I'll be ok, it's no problem! I'm a goddess after all. I'm like an invincible hero whose stats are capped right from the start."
"Rika likes to do low level clears of RPG's. Also Rika's an M."
Kh, I shouldn't have said it that way...!
Still, Sena's game obsession aside, how am I supposed to convince our masochist, Rika?
I was worried, but persevered in trying to convince them all to stop.
"I'm not kidding, this thing isn't a game. I've ridden it once before, but that was enough to scare the crap out of me. You'll know what I mean if you ride it, but you'll wish you hadn't...! This isn't like any other ride you've ever seen... The guy who made this thing had to be insane."
"I see... So it's that scary, huh..."
Yozora murmured with a meek look on her face.
"Guess we can't do anything about it if it's that scary..."
"S-so you see what I mean now?"
"Yeah. Kodaka, if you're that scared of it, then――"
"That's all the more reason we have to ride it. With you of course," said Sena.
"I simply must ride it now. With Kodaka-senpai of course," said Rika.
"Indeed," said Yozora, with a satisfied nod.
"What are you three, demons!?"
I yelled, straining my voice, but the trio of demons simply grinned at me.
"Ahaha, you're so lame. You say it's so scary, but a roller coaster is still basically just a toy, right? It's not like anyone's gonna die on it."
"Rika likes that cute scaredy-cat side of Kodaka-senpai herself."
"I want to see~ Kodaka scream and cry~ ♪"
Sena and Rika both insulted me in turns, and Yozora followed up with some weird song.
Kh, these three...
"Fine fine, I got it! Let's go ride The Black Dragon then...! Don't come crying to me later, got it!?"
I said, finally giving in to their taunting, before Sena said with a face full of confidence,
"Heh heh, as if I would ever cry!"
"...Are you kidding me?"
Yozora said with a look of disdain in her eyes.
And so, we all ended up challenging the last boss right away, despite how bad of an idea it was...
Normally, you'd have to wait one or two hours to ride The Black Dragon on a holiday, but we got in after about 10 minutes due to it being a weekday morning.
For better or worse, our group got the front car with Yozora and Sena in the front (each cart seats two people per row), followed by Kobato and Maria, Rika and I, and Yukimura alone in the back.
The members of the Neighbors Club then had a taste of the same fear I'd experienced once before.
"Hmph, this is nothing. It could stand to go faster."
"Hehehe, the commoners below me look like the ants they are. I knew being up high would feel good!"
"These vibrations are just right―― Ahn! Rika is starting to get horny."
"Kukuku... What is the matter, Dragon of Darkness... Is this all you've got? Kukuku..."
...Yozora and the rest were all acting like that when we started, but they all started talking less as we got higher, and they eventually switched to screams once we got about as high as the Ferris Wheel.
"T-t-t-t-the guy who thought this up had to have been a nutjob! God damn it, die! Go die you crazy pervert sadist psycho asshole! Stop it! Cut it out! Take me back! I'm gonna kill you! I'll kill you I'll kill you I'll kill you! No no no, stop stop, seriously please stop! Die die die, I'm going to dieee!! Shit, Meat Meat Meat, stupid Meat, I hate you Meat! This is all your fault! Why did you have to bring those tickets!? It's all your fault! My life is not going well, ****** (I couldn't really hear this part) never paying attention to me, everything is all your fault! I'll fucking kill you, I'll so fucking kill you, you ground beef minced meat hot dog ham sausage! Die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die curse curse curse curse curse curse curse curse I'll kill you I'll kill you I'll kill you I'll kill you I'll kill you I'll kill you I'll kill you I'll kill you I'll kill you I'll kill you I'll kill you I'll kill you I'll kill you I'll kill you I'll kill you! Ah, ah, ah, sto- I'm falling I'm falling I'm falling, forgive me, I'm falling, forgive me forgive me, noooooooo! Save me **daka! (I couldn't hear this either) Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!! (Yozora)"
"D-d-d-do you think you'll get away with doing this to me you lump of iron!? You're just a stupid toy, I'll murder you! Uh, um, seriously, stop! I mean it, please stop, stop, I'm begging you, spare me, AHHHHHHHHHHHH! It's high it's high it's high it's high! Stop, I said it's too high! Eeeek, nooooooo! Noooo, stoooooooopppppppp! H-hey, Yozoraaa, stop murmuring all that creepy stuff! I mean it, it's scary, it's scary! AHHHHHH I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry, I apologize, I apologize, so please, AHHHH! Forgive me, forgive me, dying dying, I'm gonna die! This is wrong this is wrong, I'll do anything you want me to, just please save my life! I'll give you as much money as you want, I don't care what happens to the rest of them, just save me Goodddddddddd! I'm falling, I'm falling, ngah! K-Kodaka, Kodaka Kodaka Kodaka Kodakaaaaaaaaaaaa! (Sena)"
"Gyaaahhhhh! You did lie to me, didn't you Yozora!? I-I'm going to die here for sure, you damn rotten oranges! Gyahhhh! Poop! Poop! Poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop ! Haeehhhhh!? Uohhhhh!? Nowaaahhhhh!? Aha, ahaha, ahahahaha!! Ahahaha, so high so high so high! AhahahahahahahahahahahaGYAHHHHHHH! Poops UNIVERRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSEE!! (Maria. Sounds like she's having fun)"
"...Kuku... Kukuku... Come, oh Black Dragon... You shall guide me to the ends of time itself... Kukuku... Kukukuuuuu... Kuku- Uwahhh An-chan, auuuu~~ S-stop yelling poop you stupid nun! Gyaaaahhhh!? A-A-A-A-An-chan, where are you An-chan!? I said shut up already! Where did you go An-chan!? An-chaaaan!! Byaaahhhhhhhhnn! Fgyaaaaaaahhhhhnn! Uwaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh! (Kobato. Bawling.)"
"When Bodhisattva Avalokiteśvara was practicing the profound Prajñāpāramitā, he illuminated the Five Skandhas and saw that they are all empty, and he crossed beyond all suffering and difficulty. Śāriputra, form does not differ from emptiness; emptiness does not differ from form. Form itself is emptiness; emptiness itself is form. So too are feeling, cognition, formation, and consciousness... (Yukimura was talking in his usual calm voice. I think he's probably chanting the Heart Sutra. I wish he'd stop though, since hearing someone chant a sutra behind you is seriously scary)"
Rika, who was sitting next to me, was the only one who'd been silent and expressionless as we got closer to the top of the first hill.
But, the instant we hit the first, and biggest, drop of 100 meters that spiked down at a 70 degree angle,
...I think I just heard the sound of something in Rika snapping just now.
I was desperately grabbing on to the bar in front of me as we fell down that terrifying drop, unable to do anything other than scream "UWAAAHHHHHHHH!" like everyone else, let alone actually talk to Rika.
I could hear Rika mumbling something in a calm voice all the while though.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckkkkkkkkk! God damn gravity you piece of shit...! You don't care who it is as long as you can pull down on them, do you, you little bitch!! Gravity, you piggy bitch slut! Holy fucking shit what a god damn whore you are...! Hah, you're Earth's greedy little slut, you damn bitch in heat! Fuck you universal gravitation, you're just Newtonian Mechanics' dirty little whore! You're just the crusty semen left over in that slutty apple's pussy after that son of a bitch Isaac fucked its rotten juices! Special theory of relativity, you impotent phimosis piece of shit! Einstein, you old limp dick fuck! What, got something to say!? Then move that tiny little twig of yours faster! Cum faster than the speed of light! A pig that can't fly through space-time is just a piece of shit that reeks of semen and can't even last 5 seconds in his wet dreams! Fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking UNIVERRRRRRRRRSSSEE!!"
"Uwahhhh, Rika snappeddd!?"
I have no idea what she's talking about, but Rika was scaring the crap out of me!
That fucking swearing of hers is even scarier than when Yozora yelled at people. She's got little Kodaka shaking over here too! Ah, crap, I started talking like her.
I was already terrified from The Black Dragon's insane drops, speed, and turns, but when you add in Rika yelling all that nonsense with a half-smile on her face, it made everything twice as scary. My heart was done for.
End it! Someone just end this nightmare already...!
All I could do was keep praying that it would end as The Black Dragon swung me around...
|Back to Amusement Park ~ Invitation Chapter ~||Return to Main Page||Forward to Amusement Park ~ Astaroth Chapter ~|