Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai: Volume 3 Jaws
It was now August.
As usual, it was insanely hot outside.
Kobato and I went to the clubroom, and found the rest of the club members lazing around inside the nice cool clubroom.
"Not that it's anything new, but you guys sure laze around a lot in here..."
I said while grabbing my summer homework from my bag, after which Yozora, who was lying lifeless on the sofa, opened her eyes.
"Because it's so damn hot outside... and there's nothing to do anyway."
The fact that Yozora wasn't exactly an energetic person was something I'd learned long ago, but she seemed to be even less energetic ever since summer break started.
"What about your homework?"
"Isn't it obvious I already finished?"
Yozora coolly replied.
"You really are amazing when it comes to academics..."
I'm pretty sure she always studies beforehand and reviews the material after class, and when you combine that with her already high academic abilities, it's easy to see how she can answer any question asked in class like it was nothing.
"Hmph, not like there's anything else to do in school besides study."
"Don't be so cynical... Though I am in the same position you are."
I think that for people without friends, school really is a boring place to be.
"If you ask me, this school needs to give out more summer homework than this. I think about ten times as much would do."
"Gonna have to pass on that."
I was taken aback by how ridiculous what Yozora just said was. I don't know how much schools generally give out for summer homework, but this place gives out twice as much as my last one.
If I didn't have so much free time I'm confident that the amount of work we have to do would bring me to tears.
"Kodaka... How do other people usually use all of this free time we get?"
"Usually going places with friends and stuff..."
Yozora fell into a silence full of displeasure, and then said with a sigh,
"...Those normals should all just go die."
She had a heavy look in her eyes.
Then, right after that, I heard a cheery BGM and the voices of several girls coming from the TV in the corner of the room.
"...I wonder if they can go die too."
"Don't start getting angry at fictional characters now. That's pretty creepy to be honest."
"What are you talking about? It's precisely because they're in a game that I should kill them as much as I please. If I were the one who made that game, let's see... I'd have a shark come out or something."
"Hold it Yozora, what did you just say!?"
Sena turned away from her game and looked at Yozora.
I guess she was listening to us.
"If a shark came out all of a sudden and devoured those annoying women on the screen right now I'd have no problem claiming that game is one of the best there is. You think that'll happen?"
"As if a retarded event like that would happen! Besides, this isn't even at the beach. They're at a pool! How in the hell would a shark show up in a pool!?"
"Yes, but you can't say it's impossible."
"It's impossible! Idiot!"
"Hrm... too bad."
Yozora honestly looked let down upon hearing that.
"Sheesh. Your head is always full of stupid crap like that."
Sena said, seemingly somewhat surprised, before returning to her game.
The girls were running around giggling, splashing water on each other, and playing with their beach ball like before. However all of a sudden,
One of the girls on the screen let out a terrified shriek.
The BGM changed to an eerie one, and a graphic of a shark fin coming across the water appeared on the screen.
Sena was startled by it for a second, but she quickly bounced back with a "Ohh?" and said,
"I bet it's just gonna turn out to be a fake anyway. It'll be one of the doctor's robots, or Marina using a remote control fin, or someone in a costume or something. It's just a cliché event."
Sena confidently continued reading, and then,
"Uwaa! Why is there a real great white shark here!? Gyaaa!"
"Seriously, why the hell!?" Sena yelled.
There was a pretty realistic looking graphic of a great white shark opening its vicious jaws and attacking the people in the pool drawn on the screen.
"I-it'll still be okay! This is a love comedy after all! It's not like having something dangerous like a shark show up all of a sudden in a comedy is unheard of! I bet the protagonist is going to defeat it and raise his affection points with all the girls! Ahaha, that's right, I know exactly how this is going to end!"
And so the next line came
The screen was dyed red.
The first victim let out their final scream.
A series of gruesome depictions of the characters being attacked continued to flow on the screen, without so much as a hint of it being a gag like Sena suggested.
The great white shark now turned its gaze to the other heroines, still in the bloody pool.
"Hold on! Don't worry, I'll take care of that stupid shark for you!"
The protagonist "Sena" hurriedly tried to save the girls, but was too late.
"Mizukiiiii! (The protagonist's line. Unvoiced.)
The screen was dyed in blood.
It wasn't long before the rest of the heroines, along with the protagonist, all fell prey to the great white shark.
Sena stood there with her mouth wide open in shock.
Yozora looked shocked too, but she eventually managed to spit out a "...Hmph. Well, I guess it was a good game after all." with a cold sweat running down her face.
"Like hell that was a good game! Even calling this game a pile of shit would be too much for it!"
Sena yelled, angry to the point that you could see the veins on her head. She then ripped the disk out of the PS, and without so much as a millisecond of hesitation, snapped it in two.
She threw the disk into the garbage, and flopped down on the sofa while hanging her head.
It was then that Rika unconcernedly asked,
"Were you playing 'The Tale of Saint Jaws Academy' just now by chance?"
"...Yeah, what about it?" said Sena.
"I see, so it really does have those crazy bad ends like I heard about. That game plays like a normal harem love comedy, but if you mess up with the flags then you'll quickly get thrown into a bad end. On top of that, those bad ends all involve a shark, or air raid, or murderer showing up and brutally killing everyone regardless of how little they fit into what was going on. Thus, among the core fans of galge it's known as being one of those 'so bad it's good' games."
"I-I see... There's a lot to the world of galge isn't there..."
A terrified look rose on Sena's face.
"...I always knew you two were total freaks."
Yozora muttered while looking at Sena and Rika in disgust.
Sena ignored Yozora's words, and then said while wiping the cold sweat from her brow,
"Haa... Still, I really wanna go to the pool..."
Yozora and I both said, dumbfounded.
Yozora looked a little creeped out by Sena, who looked puzzled, and then said,
"Why are you saying that right after seeing a scene of a bunch of girls being eaten by a shark in a pool... Are you suicidal or something...?"
"H-how does that make any sense!? Why would I be suicidal!? I was just thinking it'd be nice to go to the pool and swim around, since it's summer and all! It has nothing to do with that shitty game!"
"Oh... I was worried since it sounded like you had finally realized your possible use as an edible slab of meat. Thank me for being worried about you."
"Eh? T-thank you...?"
Sena thanked Yozora with a confused look still on her face.
"...I want to go to the pool too."
Murmured Kobato, who was hiding behind me.
"You want to go to the pool Kobato-chan!?"
Kobato said it so quietly even I could barely hear it, but Sena acted like she heard it loud and clear.
"Then let's go! Let's go to the pool together, Kobato-chan! Haa Haa...!"
Sena was slowly advancing toward Kobato while panting, but was hit by Yozora's flyswatter midway.
"You're disgusting, Meat."
I have to agree. She was pretty disgusting just now.
"Hrm... Still, the pool huh... the pool... that place is probably full of normals... I wonder if we'll go to the pool after we make friends too..."
Yozora made a frown on her face, and I said to her,
"How about we all go there together? It'd be like practice for the real thing."
"...You have a point, and it's not like we have anything else to do... So yeah, let's go."
Said Yozora, causing Kobato's face to light up as if to say "Yay!"
"Kodaka-senpai, don't get horny when you see Rika in her swimsuit, okay?"
Rika was probably trying to tease me, but I just wearily replied,
"You're just gonna act like your usual weird self and wear your lab coat over it or something, right?"
"Eh- How did you!?"
"Just so you know, if you really show up like that I'm pretending I don't know you."
"Boo~ I'm going to dazzle you with a super sexy swimsuit then. You'd better prepare yourself."
"You're laughing at me!?"
Rika made an annoyed face, and then said,
"I guess I have no choice but to take this a bit seriously... I wonder what I should go with? Low leg style? A string bikini? A Brazilian swimsuit? Band-aids? Naked? Or maybe something even crazier..."
"...Are you seriously considering those last 3?"
...Anyway, that's how we all decided we'd go to the pool together.
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