Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume3 The Second Question
 The Second Question
Please write the diary entry for the first day of the training course.
Himeji Mizuki's Diary:
After getting off at the tram stop, I was overwhelmed by a sudden dizziness. The smell of the trees and the change of scenery, the difference in air quality compared to the streets of the city, seemed to prophesize that something good would happen.
It seems the change of environment is a great stimulus. I wish for Himeji to have a great time and create some memories that belong only to the second year of your high schooling.
Tsuchiya Kouta's Diary:
After getting off at the tram stop, I felt overwhelmed by dizziness. I wonder what caused it?
It's car sickness.
Yoshii Akihisa's Diary:
At the tram stop, I took in a whiff of the air, it seemed a little sweet, yet sour. A very mysterious smell, and my deep thoughts echoed whether or not it was the specialty of this town.
I am definitely sure if Tsuchiya besides you was not vomiting, you would have a different impression of the air quality of this town.
Noticing the greenery pass the bus window, I finally left the city that I'm so used to staying in, and am heading towards the highlands that give off such a realistic feeling.
"Seems like we're going to be on this tram for another 2 hours."
Himeji-san is sitting opposite me as she slips her handphone back into her pocket. She should be checking out the bus directory.
"There's two hours left, but I don't want to sleep. What should I do~"
As the space in the bus is small, there are only so many things we can do. Our hand-held games were confiscated, so we couldn't bring them. There's unexpectedly so few things that we can do.
I turn around and look at Yuuji, who's looking outside. Also looking rather bored, he yawned.
"Yuuji, got something interesting?"
"Isn't there a mirror in the toilet? You can look into it until it breaks."
"Eh, you're saying that my face looks interesting?"
"Nope, you're mistaken. I'm saying that your face—really can't make anyone laugh."
"What do you mean by you can't laugh at it!? Is my face so bad that no one can laugh at it!?"
"I'm saying what's interesting in your guardian spirit."
"A guardian spirit? You can see those kinds of things, Yuuji?"
"Mm, I can see it. Dyed in blood, messed-up long black hair, that's a rare guardian spirit you have there."
"No matter what, anyone who looks like that wouldn't be protecting me, right?"
That should be well-known as a ghost from behind, right?
"Relax, I'm just half-joking."
"Ah, what the hell, you scared me."
"Actually, the hair is coffee in colour."
"Forget about the colour, that's not the important thing!"
Though I feel that Yuuji should be joking right from the start, I still find it a bit horrifying. If I'm to listen to him even more, it'll become a monster talk. But then again, my luck recently has been really bad, maybe it's some impure thing coming over to haunt me... Never mind, let's just prepare some salt to chase them away.
"Oh, Minami, what are you reading?"
Opposite Yuuji, diagonally in front of me, Minami is reading a book that's about as large as a notepad. It's really rare for Minami to read this when she's not really good in Kanji. Is it something that introduces red rubies?
"Hm? You're talking about this? It's a book of psychological tests. I bought it since it costs 100 yen, but I didn't expect it to be so interesting."
Psychological tests? Seems like we have something to kill the time off.
"Ohh~ seems interesting. Why don't you give me a question, Minami?"
After saying this, Minami flips through a few pages.
"Then let's start. 'Please choose someone from the opposite gender that fits the following colours'."
So, a colour impression? I suppose this is to choose who I find suits the colour the most, right?
"'① Green ② Orange. ③ Blue'
Please say the names of the persons who you find are suitable for the above colours."
Ooo~ Green, orange and blue, huh?
"Erm—Minami, why are you staring at me so intently? At least let me answer the question first."
"I, I'm not! Stop yapping and start answering!"
"Hm~...if that's the case, then 'Green=>Minami, Orange=>Hideyoshi and Blue=>Himeji-san', or something like that."
PLACK—Minami lets out a terrifying sound between her fingers.
"Mi, Minami-san...why must you rip the book right through in half?"
"AND YOU DARE ASK WHY!?"
"WHY IS MY COLOUR GREEN AND MIZUKI'S BLUE? CARE TO EXPLAIN?"
Wa! Though I don't know what's going on, she's really infuriated! For her to get so angry from just a psychological test, do I have something against tests?
"Eve, even if you ask me why, I..."
Because you're wearing grassy-green underwear—she'll throw me out of the bus window if I say this, right?
"I won't get angry, so just say it."
"Because you were wearing grassy-green underwear."
"SAKAMOTO, OPEN THE WINDOW!"
"YOU'RE THINKING OF THROWING ME OUT RIGHT!? YOU'RE THINKING OF THROWING ME OUT OF THE WINDOW RIGHT!!?"
"Shimada, you can't just throw trash out of the window."
"Thanks for stopping Minami, Yuuji, but you just treated me like trash without thinking, right?"
"Doesn't matter anyway, since you're not trash, but a scumbag."
"What now~ I haven't been treated like this so cruelly in a long time."
"You should put a scumbag into a waste carriage."
"And even Yuuji's treating me like one..."
Why must I be always treated like this!?
Just as I grit my teeth to endure this agony of humanity, Yuuji easily snatches that booklet of psychology (or rather, it was one anyway) from Minami's hands.
"AH! What are you doing!?"
"Let me see! Green represents 'friend', orange represents 'source of motivation', and blue represents—ohh. I see."
Yuuji glances at Minami and me a few times before giving a sly look. I'll go mad everytime he gives such a look.
"Sa, Sakamoto! Return that to me!"
"Sorry sorry. It looked interesting, so I really felt like borrowing it to take a look."
Minami puffs her cheeks in anger as Yuuji doesn't look sincere at all when he apologized.
"Speaking of which, does Yuuji want to participate?"
"You're right. Shimada, can I join in too?"
"Alright alright...but, but I have to make this clear, there wasn't any significance in that question just now!"
"Okay okay, I got it."
What was written on that book?
"Can I join in too?"
At this moment, Hideyoshi moves over. He's sitting together with Muttsulini behind us, seems like he's bored as well.
"I'm okay with it."
Minami looks a bit unhappy, seems like she's a bit jealous of Hideyoshi.
"Well, thanks. Ah, Akihisa, regarding the answer just now..."
"The question just now was 'Please choose someone from the opposite gender that fits the following colour', right? Who did you choose for orange?"
"...I'm happy to hear that when you mentioned this, but I do feel really troubled by this..."
Hideyoshi lowered his head as he muttered this. What's going on?
"Speaking of which, is Muttsulini not participating?"
"Looks like he's asleep. I heard that he did quite a lot of investigations."
I poke my head out past the back of the chair, Muttsulini is definitely sleeping.
"I guess it's better not to bother him."
Seeing him sleep like this, it'll be pitiful if he's to be called up suddenly.
"Erm, excuse me. Can I join in as well?"
Sitting opposite us, Himeji-san shyly raises her hand.
"Then let's have everyone play.
I answered for Minami while she still looked unhappy. Besides, she won't mind Himeji-san joining in as well.
"Oh yeah, Minami, about that 'opposite gender person that represents blue', what's the answer?"
"...I won't say it, even till I die."
"How, how did it become like this..."
Himeji-san's wide eyes look a bit teary. It's because of those teary eyes that I immediately thought of her the moment I heard blue.
"Ah...never mind, on to the next question."
Minami sighs and again flips through the torn psychology test booklet. To be able to rip a booklet right down the middle, how strong is Minami anyway?
"'From the numbers '1' to '10', please choose the first two numbers that you thought of.'"
"I'm 5 and 6"
"Well, I'm 2 and 7."
"I'm 1 and 4."
I gave my answer as well.
"Then I'm 3 and 9."
Himeji-san finally has an answer.
After hearing our comments, Minami slowly flips through a page off the booklet in her hands.
"Let me see. 'The first number the person thinks of represents how others view the person'. If so—"
"A snarky, cool guy."-- Yuuji.
"A calm and sensible person."-- Hideyoshi.
"Go to hell."-- Me.
"Caring and cautious"-- Himeji-san.
Minami said out the results of this.
"Oh, I see."
"To be called sensible, I'm rather happy."
"Erm~ why am I the only getting scolded?"
"So I'm gentle and cautious, huh~"
We all said out our thoughts.
"Next, 'the second number represents the real personality hidden within you'. So, let me see—"
Similar to what she did just now, Minami pointed at everyone.
"A just and gentle person."-- Yuuji.
"A very attractive person."-- Hideyoshi.
"Go and die painfully."-- Me.
"A strong-willed person."-- Himeji-san.
She again gives us the answer.
"Hideyoshi is really attractive."
"Himeji is a strong-willed girl, huh?"
"Erm~ Why am I being the only one scolded even more?"
"Sakamoto-kun really gives a feeling that he's gentle."
Our conversation starts to revolve around the psychology test, and everyone continued to have fun.
After that, Minami started to play a few of these psychology test with us.
After a while,
"Ah, morning, Muttsulini."
"...Woke up because I'm hungry."
"Oh? It's that time already?"
I pull out the handphone to confirm the time, and the time shown on the screen right now is 1:15pm. Normally, this would be past lunchtime already.
"Perfect timing. Why don't we have our lunch now?"
"You're right. We won't be able to finish dinner if we had lunch too late."
Food is a really important source of nutrition. I won't deliberately give any excuse that I ate already this time; that would truly be a waste.
"Ah, it's time for lunch, right? If so—"
At this moment, Himeji-san reaches her hand into a bag beside her, searching for something, and I have a bad feeling about this.
"Actually, I made quite a lot of bentos, so it possible..."
The prediction became through! Himeji-san takes out a large bento box!
I'm really grateful for her kind intention, but unfortunately, the food that she makes aren't just a masterpiece of creativity, it's a strong poison that can threaten anyone's life.
"Sorry Himeji, but I did bring my own bento."
"Sorry, I brought mine as well."
Yuuji, Hideyoshi and Muttsulini all pull out their lunches to prove it, seems like they were completely prepared.
"This is how it is, so Akihisa, please accompany Himeji as you eat your lunch."
Yuuji reveals an expression of glee over my misfortune. They must have thought that since I'm in poverty, I won't be able to prepare my own bento.
Hoho, you're too naive if you thought that.
"I'm sorry. Actually, I prepared my own bread."
"Oh my! My hand slipped! (smacks me)"
"...my foot slipped. (steps on it)"
"AHHH! MY BREAD! MY BREAD!"
After Yuuji caused me to drop my bread onto the floor, Muttsulini followed up by stepping on it a few times.
Damn it! Your combination is too perfect! How am I supposed to react?
Even so, I'm not so weak so as to give up even after my bread got stepped on a few times.
"Hahaha, you guys aren't careful at all. Really, why don't you treasure food more—"
"—You're right. Why shouldn't we treasure food? I'll finish up this squished bread, so Akihisa, just eat Himeji's bento."
""......(staring at each other)""
"Ah sorry Yuuji. My hand slipped so—"
"I'll grab you to prevent your hand from slipping."
""......(glaring at each other)""
"Then Akihisa-kun, if you don't mind—"
Himeji-san shyly brings the bento in front of me. I'm really~really happy, but after seeing the contents of the bento, I can't even bring myself to start tucking in.
"Ah~ Well, this..."
"Aki, do you want to eat my bento as well?"
Just as I was ready to use my specialty 'stomachache attack', Minami unexpectedly gave me an escape route. This is truly a once in a million chance!
"Thanks Minami for sharing! How about everyone open up their bentos? Then we can all share!"
I see Yuuji shoot me a 'what kind of bastardly idea is this?' blaming look. Really, this made me feel so good about it.
"Well, well Muttsulini and I will go back to our seats and eat."
"...(Nods head vigourously)."
Oh, so Hideyoshi and Muttsulini are both intending to escape, huh? Nevermind, my target has only been Sakamoto Yuuji right from the start!
"I don't need it, besides, I have Akihisa's bread in my hand."
Though Yuuji's face is looking as gentle as ever, his gaze is ever serious.
"Don't say this, Yuuji..."
"I see, so you want to eat my bento as well! Go ahead, take as much as you want!"
My mouth got stuffed with a lot of things. Yuuji seemed to have stuff my mouth with sandwiches to prevent me from saying anything. Can I even say anything anymore?
I frantically chew on the food to swallow it. Humph! This American-style sandwich is too delicious! Roasted chicken with some special marinade on it.
"(swallows)—that was good!"
A layer of butter was applied on the surface of the toast to prevent moisture, only the leaves of the lettuce was used, the lettuce was used to wrap the tomatoes and chicken to prevent the moisture from oozing out, and there's a layer of wasabi sauce and mayonnaise on the chicken as well...
"Oi Yuuji, did you make this yourself?"
How should I say it? The sandwich he made was surprisingly good, really shocked me. This guy really isn't some amateur at this, he always has his way of doing things.
"Then have some of mine."
This time, Minami places her bento in front of me. Ooohh, hers is traditional. Deep-fried meat balls, siewmais and asparagus rolls are all lined up nicely in the bento box. She still gave me these even though she was in a bad mood during the psychology test games, really, Minami is gentle! I have to see her from a different viewpoint.
"Then if you don't mind me."
Now, what shall I eat? I'm getting puzzled since I haven't eaten a proper meal for a long time. Oh~ well, then I'll take the siewmai! Though it's rude, I still used my hand to pick one up and pop it into my mouth.
"Aki, that, well...I'm trying to summon my courage to say this! Actually, I intended to let you eat that siewmai—"
"Hm? What? (chewing)"
"—because between the 2 siewmais , one of them has wasabi in it."
"ARE YOU STUPID!?"
SPICY!! I'M GOING TO DIE OF SPICINESS!! MY TONGUE HAS GONE NUMB!!
"Akihisa, you might be lucky in a certain sense."
Yuuji patted his hand on my shoulder just as I'm going about looking for water.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M LUCKY...ah yes! Since my taste buds are all damaged, maybe I might be able to take Himeji-san's toxic food! If so, I got to remain in this invincible mode and—
"I'm taking your bento, Himeji-san!"
"Ah, yes. Please have more of it."
"I'm tucking in—"
Waking up, I find myself in an unknown room.
"Ah, Akihisa, you're awake? Good...seems like the electric shock was effective!"
Yuuji raises what looks like an electric iron in his hand, revealing an expression that looks like he can finally heave a sigh of relief.
—ARE YOU JOKING? WAS I REALLY IN TREADING BETWEEN THE LINE OF LIFE AND DEATH?
"Speaking of which, is this where our camp is?"
"Ah, yes. Our school is rich, that's for sure. I heard that this hotel was bought by Fumitzuki Gakuen to be used as the dormitory for our training course."
This place was modified to be the dormitory for our training course? In other words, we can summon summoned beasts here, right?
—This is Fumitzuki Gakuen alright. However, since they're willing to splash the cash whenever they want to, I hope that the school will help provide free lunches.
"Oh, Akihisa! You alright!? What a relief...when I heard you start to regret about everything you did in your past life, I thought you were gone..."
Hideyoshi, who came into the room, placed his hand on his chest.
Good thing I survived.
"Thanks for worrying about me. Is Hideyoshi staying here as well?"
"Yes, and with Muttsulini, the four of us will be staying here."
Seems like this place is large enough to allow 8 people to sleep here, but maybe it was because of the class sorting that the four of us can stay in such a large room...did they decide to put us problematic students here together?
At this moment, I noticed that the last person who's supposed to stay with us in this room isn't here.
"Where did Muttsulini go? Did he go out to peek?"
"I don't think it's nice to say that about your friend..."
Kachang. "...I'm back." Speak of the devil, Muttsulini's back.
"Oh, you're back, Muttsulini."
"...It's great that you're okay, Akihisa."
"Ah, so you were worried about me? Sorry about that."
"...Thanks to that, the information I worked hard to find won't go to waste."
"Information? You're talking about what Akihisa and I asked you to check? You're really fast!"
Yuuji had quite the reaction the moment he heard the word 'information'. Ah, we asked him to search out the culprit who took a photo of me (wearing an embarrassing maid costume) and recorded Yuuji's voice (his marriage declaration).
"...I got trail of the tools that the culprit used."
"Ohh, as expected of Muttsulini."
"...From the culprit's modus operandi, I can assume that it's the same person involved in both cases."
"I see. But not many people would do this thing. Since you feel this way, I suppose that's right."
Even so, doesn't this mean that we have two of this kind of people (the culprit and Muttsulini) in our year? That's really strange.
"So, who's the culprit?"
After being questioned, Muttsulini shakes his head with an apologetic look.
"Ah, so you don't know who the culprit is?"
"Why are you saying sorry to us? You're willing to help us, and we're grateful for that."
That's right. I asked him yesterday, so how can we expect him to find the culprit today? Things aren't that simple.
"...I only know that 'the culprit's a girl, and her butt got burned a bit'."
"What are you investigating anyway?"
Wouldn't people normally check the name of the person, how the person looks or something? Who would know whether there's a burn on the butt!? I really want to know how that guy investigated this.
"...I set up a network over the entire school."
At the same time he said this, Muttsulini pulled out a small machine. What's this thing?
"...A mini-recorder. I bugged the entire school with a lot of these."
After the button was pressed, a loud mix of voices echoes throughout the room.
"The voice quality's rather bad."
"Can't be helped. Since we're searching through the entire school, it's hard to maintain the sound quality and accuracy."
"Though we can barely hear that it's a girl, we can't tell who it is."
<I'll like to request for another Yuuji's wedding declaration...>
After that, it's another girl's voice. Like the previous one, we can't really tell who it is just from the sound, but this unique way of talking, and the content, anyone can just use their kneecap to guess who this is.
"IT'S, IT'S SHOUKO!! THAT GIRL, SHE HAS ALREADY STARTED?"
"She's really anxious about this."
Exactly what does Kirishima-san like about this guy anyway?
<Thanks for the patronage. Since it's the second time, I'll sell it to you at a cheaper price.>
<...The price doesn't matter, just hurry up and give it to me.>
<As expected of a rich ojou-sama, straight to the point. How about tomorrow—I wanted to say this, but training course starts tomorrow, so I'll only hand it to you next Monday.>
<...I got it. I will endure.>
"Hoo, that was too dangerous...good thing the training course saved my life..."
"So it got delayed till next Monday."
Even so, we can't work on the weekends, so actually, we have only 4 days left.
"...And the other conversation includes the culprit's identity."
Muttsulini operates the machine again.
<Still a scary photograph. Wouldn't you get punished really badly if people are to find out that you've been secretly taking these photographs?>
<Well, actually, I got caught by my own mother before.>
<Then, were you okay?>
<She burned me on the backside. Really, how prehistoric was this kind of punishment already?>
What followed was some really boring business talk.
"...That's all we know of for now."
"I see, so that's the reason why you said that the culprit has a burn on the butt."
"From how the conversation went just now, it seems like the culprit's a girl."
"The other person seems a bit pretentious, but it seems like she's a girl as well."
We were worried about the sound quality, that it may be so bad that we wouldn't be able hear the conversation clearly, but since it's girls talk, if they aren't girls, it's Hideyoshi's doing.
"This is really a beneficial piece of information to us, but a burn on the butt...even if we're to flip a girl's skirt, we might not be able to find out who the culprit is. Ah~hum..."
"We can't even capture a burn mark even if we're to use an infrared camera..."
Beside me, Yuuji gives a serious look that shows that he's thinking of a way to peek at a girl's butt.
"So what were you guys talking about since a while back?"
Seeing us serious with that thinking look, Hideyoshi tilted his head slightly as he said this. That's right, we haven't told Hideyoshi what's going on.
"Hideyoshi, actually—(omitting the rest out)."
I gave him a brief explanation of what happened to us. If we explain it clearly, Hideyoshi should be willing to help us out.
"I see. But if the burned part's on the bu..."
Hideyoshi gives us a cute look as he thinks of a way to help us.
"Ah, but it'll be bathing time soon. Can't we just get Hideyoshi to check who has the burn mark on her butt?"
"Akihisa, why do you want me to enter the girls bathing area?"
Oh my, my proposal's too great! There should be no problems now.
"Not possible, Akihisa."
However, Yuuji dampened my enthusiasm. Is there something on the training course itinerary?
"Well, that's to be expected, since I'm a guy."
"Just read the 3rd page of the itinerary booklet."
I obediently follow Yuuji's instructions and read the 3rd page. Looking at it—
~Dormitory bathing locations and timeslots~
Boys classes A, B, C –20:00~21:00 Large bathroom (Male)
Boys classes D, E, F –21:00~22:00 Large bathroom (Male)
Girls classes A, B, C –20:00~21:00 Large bathroom (Female)
Girls classes D, E, F –21:00~22:00 Large bathroom (Female)
Class F's Kinoshita Hideyoshi –20:00~21:00 Personal Bathroom (4)
"Damn it! Now we can't get Hideyoshi to help us out now."
"Seems that way."
"Why am I the only one with a personal bathroom?"
And I thought that this was a perfect plan. What a pity!
Just as the four of us were muttering and thinking of a plan.
"EVERYONE PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK AND GET DOWN!!!"
Our room door was busted open, and several girls came running in.
"Wha, what's going on?"
"Get over here, Kinoshita! You three over there, don't think of putting up any resistance!"
Standing in the frontmost position, Minami immediately darted to the window to prevent us from escaping. Nice, as expected of Minami!
"Why did you guys run to the window so suddenly?"
This isn't the problem now, right?
"Now I want to know why in the world did you girls come rushing into our room?"
After closing the window, Yuuji questioned the entire group of girls. Muttsulini and I also put down our extremely heavy bags and turn around to face them.
"And you dare to act like you're innocent. We already knew that you guys are the culprits!"
Showing a high and mighty attitude as she walks past Minami is class C's representative, Koyama-san. All the girls behind her fold their arms, looking like they agree as they nod their heads.
"Culprits? What are you talking about?"
Koyama-san tosses something in front of us. What's that?
"...CCD camera and a mini-microphone."
Having absolute knowledge regarding these kinds of things, Muttsulini answered.
Oh, I see. So this was installed inside the girl's changing room—
"Eh? Isn't that peeping? Who would do such a thing?"
"Stop playing dumb! Who would do this sort of things besides you guys?"
Hearing this, Hideyoshi steps in and confronts Koyama-san.
"It's not like that. We didn't do such a thing! This dastardly thing of peeping—"
In order to prove our innocence, Hideyoshi got so anxious that his voice got hoarse naturally without anyone noticing. I should respond to that trust.
"That's right, we didn't do such a thing!"
"...(Nods head violently)."
While Hideyoshi refuted this, Muttsulini and I moved forward, only to be glared at by Koyama-san.
"So what's with this dastardly way of peeping?"
"...I...really can't deny it..."
"WHAT? IS THE TRUST BETWEEN US ONLY TO THIS EXTENT!?"
To think that Hideyoshi thinks that Muttsulini and I are of an equal level? I'm going to cry...
"I really didn't think that Yoshii-kun, you guys...will actually go to this extent..."
Among the crowd of extremely murderous girls, Himeji-san said this with an incredulous voice of disbelief. Hearing her say this, it's like we betrayed her trust, it really hurts and aches. BUT I DON'T REMEMBER DOING SUCH A THING!!
"Aki...I trusted you, why must you do such a despicable thing...?"
"Minami, if you really believed me, you wouldn't be preparing those interrogation tools, right?"
On a side note, I don't sense any trust from her at all.
"Himeji-san, you're mistaken! We're really...!"
"I'm angry! You actually went to peep on us while our stomachs were all full with dinner—my waist isn't normally that big, it's a lot skinnier!"
So that's your reason for being angry?
"My, my bust isn't as big as usual, you know!?"
"That's a lie."
"EVERYONE, GIVE HIM A GOOD LESSON!!"
"I'm, I'm sorry!! I accidentally said my true thoughts out loud!"
The girls quickly surround us, forcing Muttsulini and me to kneel down with stone blocks on us. Not good! The only person we can ask for help right now is—
"HELP, YUUJI!! HURRY UP AND SAVE US!!"
"...I won't forgive you for being fickle-minded in love."
"Hang on, Shouko! Calm down for a while GYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
"Before you admit your deeds, we'll love you to our hearts' contents!"
Now Minami has finally revealed her sadistic personality. We'll die if we don't improve her mood! I don't like to lie, but we got to praise her a bit.
"Well, I have been looking at Minami's huge breasts you know GYYYYAAAHHH!!"
"Now for the first block."
I definitely praised her! She still dropped such a heavy object on my knees even after I did my best to praise her!!
"Yoshii-kun, so you've seen Minami-chan's breasts...?"
"Ah ha ha ha. Nar nar. Gentle Himeji-san won't want to drop something heavy on me right AHHOOOOWWWW!!"
"You should answer the question properly, you know?'
Nowadays, I feel that there's something more to Himeji-san's smile than a smile.
Seems like I got too close to death a lot more times than usual today.
After 30 minutes of interrogation, we were released due to insufficient evidence.
"This is just added punishment...speaking of which, why am I the only one treated as a victim?"
"Yeah, that'll cause a misunderstanding."
"...There wasn't any visible evidence left behind in the first place."
Muttsulini, your words may end up bringing us back into the torturous Hell!
Oh yeah, Yuuji should be alright, right? Why hasn't he made a single sound yet?
"Yuuji, you alright? Why haven't you said anything yet?"
As I asked, Yuuji suddenly stood up as if he made some huge decision.
"...Isn't this perfect?"
The deep, angry voice bellows throughout the room.
"Eh? What's with you, Yuuji?"
"Since they won't be convinced even with all these, why don't we grant them their wish?"
His eyes are blazing with determination as if they're on fire.
"Are you really thinking..."
"Yes, that's exactly what I'm thinking. Since they have decided that we were peeping on them, WHY DON'T WE JUST PEEP ON THEM BRAZENLY!!"
"Yuuji, if you really want to see Kirishima-san's naked body so much, why don't you just ask her?"
And we're already thinking about peeping on them while they're on their guard. There has to be a limit to stupidity.
"Wha, are you stupid? I'm not interested in Shouko's naked body!"
Man up and tell the truth, Yuuji, I'm really interested.
"Uh huh, are you thinking of searching for the culprit with the burn mark on the butt?"
"That's right. I already felt that it was too despicable, but since they accused us without any proof, there's no need to consider this too much. WE'RE GOING TO PEEP ON THEM AND CATCH THE CULPRIT WHILE WE'RE AT IT!!"
Yuuji's right. Since we're treated like peeping toms, we should have the right to do this. Besides, if I don't do this, those embarrassing photos of me will be scattered all over the world!
"...The camera and microphone just now were of the same model as the ones the culprit threatened you two with."
"What? Is that true, Muttsulini?"
"Really? Now that's a fact worth being happy about."
All three of them fold their arms and respond in unison. Eh, about that—
"Excuse me...but what's the situation now?"
"Akihisa's still Akihisa. You can't even grasp this level of situation. Basically, here's how it goes." Yuuji takes out a piece of paper and starts to draw on it.
"The person who blackmailed you and me used the same type of camera and microphone inside the girls' changing room as the one used to blackmail us. Then, if the female culprit has a burn on her butt—"
"Ah, I see! As long as we can find the culprit with the burn mark on the butt, all the problems will be solved!"
Though peeping isn't something praiseworthy, we have no choice but to do this. This is for Yuuji, for me, our bright futures! Thus, we have to PEEP!
"But speaking of which, as long as things involve Kirishima-san, Yuuji would be extremely motivated. I'm really suspicious, is there really a need to go to this extent?"
That was a whole world of difference in contrast to his normally lazy attitude.
"...Actually, a while back, I was drugged by Shouko and got unconscious."
"I'm sorry, I forgot about that. It must have been really hard on you."
"The moment I woke up, I found myself kidnapped to her house."
So Yuuji got kidnapped to Kirishima-san's house. Since Yuuji didn't really care, she used such a hardcore method, huh? Kirishima-san really won't give up.
"Heh~so did you say hello to Kirishima-san's parents?"
"No, it's not that, her house--"
Don't tell me not just her parents, even her grandparents are living with her as well?
"--got my room prepared."
So Yuuji's about to take the last step, huh?
"If her family members hears the marriage proposal, my, my future will be..."
Seems like I'm getting used to Yuuji breaking down nowadays, however, a slightly broken Yuuji has a bit more variety. Oh well, that isn't bad.
"Er, guys, if we don't hurry, the bathing time for the girls will end."
"Eh? Hideyoshi and Muttsulini are going to help us?"
"Of course. My friend's in trouble, how can I just sit back and watch?"
"...(Nods head violently)."
As expected of my good friends; even if I got some unknown criminal record, even if it's really tough and not worth doing, they're still willing to lend us a helping hand.
"And I do have some responsibility regarding Yuuji's marriage proposal..."
Oh yeah, there's another reason to this. But the one who forced Yuuji to say this was me, so Hideyoshi has no need to be bothered by it.
"...I've already confirmed the location of the girls bathing area."
Muttsulini walks out of the room, his feet moving without any hesitation at all.
"Yosh! Yuuji, hurry and get up! We're going to peep! (Gives him a good hit)"
"Ugh—what's going on?"
"Now Akihisa's getting skilled in treating Yuuji."
This most likely is because Yuuji's been moving to that other world for no good reason.
"...There's now 40 minutes left for the later group."
Muttsulini checks his watch to confirm.
"No time left, we got to hurry."
"You're right, let's run."
We didn't wear any shoes or indoor slips, only socks as we moved about on the corridor. Of course, this is to prevent footstep sounds from being made.
Maybe because the boys and girls bathing times are the same, we didn't meet anyone on the way.
"...After walking past the staircase and down a bit, it'll be the girls' bathing area."
Muttsulini stopped in front of the stairs.
In other words, once we get down the stairs and go all the way, we'll reach the girls' bathing area. Since the place is underground, we can't peek from outside, and had to go all the way down.
"Alright, we don't have much time left. So let's break through the last line of defense!"
"The goal's right in front of you." Yuuji said.
The 3 of us silently nodded our heads and dashed down the stairs at a terrifying speed.
Taking 2 steps down at a time, and then moving down the corridor towards the girls' bathing area...
"I heard that someone placed a video cam in the changing room, so I came over to stay guard. Didn't expect the culprits to really come over."
Looking around to find the source of the voice, the one that appeared in front of us was a familiar male teacher. It's Fuse-sensei, the chemistry teacher.
"What now, Yuuji? It's Fuse-sensei."
"Don't worry, we'll just knock him out with a punch."
"You should be worried, Sakamoto! I'm still a teacher, you know!"
"Got it, then we'll settle it with a punch!"
"What are you doing, Yoshii?"
This was to defend out innocence. Once we find out who the culprit is, everyone will forgive us! That's right, we're pursuing the truth! Justice will always be on our side!
"—However, I'll let you feel all this anger that I built up over remedial classes!"
"THAT'S JUST A SELFISH ACT OF REVENGE!"
My iron fist of justice locked onto Fuse-sensei, ready to fire out any second.
"GGGYYYAAA! Su, summon!"
Suddenly, a little body appeared in front of me and blocked my fist.
"A Summoned beast?"
I quickly jumped back and maintained a safe distance.
A familiar magic array appeared besides sensei's feet. At this moment, what appeared in front of me is a summoned beast of a rather high level, several times stronger than those of the poor performers. If it's a teacher's summon, this summoned beast should have an immeasurable power.
However, a normal summoned beast should be unable to touch humans or physical objects.
"Damn it! So the teachers' summoned beasts can touch physical objects?" Yuuji muttered bitterly.
Like what we're seeing, my fist got blocked by Fuse-sensei's summoned beast. In other words, sensei's summoned beast can interfere with physics.
"Ho, so I finally managed to catch up? Before Yoshii was designated as a 'punishment inspector', we had to experience it ourselves, so our summoned beasts can touch physical objects. Besides, who asked us to be teachers? We have to step in and stop the young from going rampant sometimes."
If so, Fuse-sensei should be rather used to controlling a summoned beast. Damn it, this situation's getting harder and harder to handle.
"But isn't this too despicable! Since you're setting your own questions, wouldn't your summoned beasts be too powerful!?"
Sensei's answers should be similar to those model answers! If we're to fight against someone at such a level, we can only remain in a disadvantageous position and can only try to get back up.
"No, this isn't a real battle anyway, so it isn't really despicable. Besides, you boys wanted to beat me up first, right?"
Adults are really despicable, always thinking of ways to trick us.
"And besides, teachers need to take tests. Our tests are set by teacher from other levels."
"Well, since the principal's philosophy is that 'teachers themselves should be at a level competent enough to educate students'."
Really? Seeing the principal normally acting so nonchalantly, she sure is serious as an educator.
"Alright, time for you boys to be obedient, okay?"
Fuse-sensei's summoned beast got into a battle position, and when we're fighting against a summoned beast that's a lot strong than an ordinary human, we don't have a chance of winning if we don't bring out a similar battle ability.
"Is so, we should resist with all we have and beat down Fuse-sensei's summoned beast."
"That's the spirit! I'll leave it you, Yuuji!"
Using Yuuji as a shield, I hastily moved forward.
"Hold it right there."
My shirt suddenly got tugged back. What? I'm rushing off to the girls' bathing area.
"Let's hear your chemistry score."
Oh my, really. You don't think you have a chance without me helping, do you? Can't be helped...
That chemistry test. Almost made it, what a pity...just one mark, yes, if I could get one more mark—
"—With one extra mark, I could have gotten a double digit score."
"Hurry up and scram, you useless piece of trash."
It, it's not what you think! I just accidentally miswrote my answers on the next question! It's not because my minds' bad!
"If the opponent's a teacher, it'll be tough for one person to handle. I'll stay as well, Akihisa, Muttsulini, hurry up and move on!"
Even if it's Yuuji, it's unlikely that he'll beat a teacher, so Hideyoshi decided to stay behind and help him. If they're working together, there should be no problems, right?"
"Then I'll leave it to you then, Hideyoshi. Come on, summon!"
"For the sake of clearing the name of my friends, this is nothing. Summon!"
Yuuji and Hideyoshi have summoned their summoned beasts, and the summoning mechanism set within the hotel reacted to their call, causing familiar patterns to appear on the floor.
In the blink of an eye, both Hideyoshi and Yuuji's summoned beasts appear.
"Muttsulini, as according to plan, leave this to Yuuji and Hideyoshi. We'll go—WHAT THE HELL, HE DISAPPEARED!?"
Muttsulini had already hastened his feet as he moved towards the girls' bathing area. What amazing movement; I've got to catch up!
"Oi, you two! Tsuchiya, Yoshii! Hold on a minute!"
"Sorry, Fuse-sensei, but I won't allow you to stop them."
"That's the case, so please stay behind and play with us."
I could roughly hear Yuuji and the others talking, but Muttsulini and I dashed forward without looking back. Just at this moment though—
"Hold it right there."
Another teacher blocked us.
"Ooshima-sensei." Muttsulini lets out a moan of agony.
It's expected that he would be like this, since to Muttsulini, this opponent is like a grand master! This person who came over, Ooshima-sensei, is in charge of Health and Physical Education.
But since the opponent is the Health Ed teacher, it might be good for us in a certain sense. Though Mutsulini is truly a rare national-class idiot when it comes to other subjects, his ability can really match a teacher. Seems like we'll have an exciting match between these two."
Muttsulini looks serious as he nods his head, walking towards Ooshima-sensei.
"...This isn't peeping."
Getting ready to summon, Ooshima-sensei stopped what he was doing.
Seems like Muttsulini's not intending to fight right from the start, but will try to convince Ooshima-sensei. This is rare, especially for him.
"Then if it's not peeping, what is it?"
Seems like Muttsulini's tactic worked as Ooshima-sensei retorted. Maybe it'll be easier to convince him than Ironman? I got to see this.
Though it's soft, Muttsulini's voice echoes inexplicably in my ears.
"—Practical health education."
Unfortunately, his attempt to convince sensei failed.
"I'll leave it to you here, Muttsulini!"
Muttsulini looks unhappy as he summoned his summoned beast. Did he really think that he could convince Ooshima-sensei with that? If he really thought so, I can only say that he is one enigmatic guy.
"I'll go off first, Muttsulini! We'll meet up once you beat sensei!"
After leaving Muttsulini with these words, I ran on ahead.
"So you think you can take me? You brats better listen, don't ever—UNDERESTIMATE YOUR OWN TEACHERS!"
P.E. Teacher, Ooshima Takeshi, Health Education 663 points
F class, Tsuchiya Kouta, Health Education 424 points
I continued to run, but stopped due to being shocked.
Did I see Ooshima-sensei's points correctly before I left? 663 POINTS...IS THAT EVEN HUMANLY POSSIBLE? DID SOMETHING GO WRONG?
"Did they change the marks or something...?"
"You idiot, we teachers will definitely not do such a stupid thing!"
My little mutter got a familiar response. This, this voice is—
"YOU APPEARED, IRONMAN!"
"CALL ME NISHIMURA-SENSEI!"
His back facing the girls bathing area, my eternal enemy Ironman, also known as Nishimura-sensei, stood there, his muscular and brawny body blocking me.
"Really, I guess you people don't know, but we teachers have to study as well! This is for us teachers to be professional!"
"Ah, I see. It's been tough on you~"
"That's right, an educator's life is tough." Ironman muttered painfully to himself.
Though I really can't see it, it seemed like it's really tough.
"On a side note, how much did Nishimura-sensei get?"
"I was busy relieving the ex-homeroom teacher, so I didn't have time to take my tests, and so I don't have any marks."
"I see, so in other words, you don't have any marks now, right? As expected of idiot Nishimura-sensei who has only brawns and doesn't have a brain at all."
"Yoshii, for safety's sake, I'll ask you this—what's your blood type?"
Am I thinking too much? Why do I feel like he's about to beat me down to death before transfusing blood back into me again?
"An, anyway, I got to get through! Move aside! Summon!"
I'll reach my goal as long as I get past Ironman! Got to get through no matter what!
Remedial teacher, Nishimura Sochi, combined subjects NONE
Class F, Akihisa Yoshii, combined subjects 929 points.
"BRING IT ON!"
Facing my summoned beast, Ironman only clenches his fists and gets into a fighting position.
Eh? Fists? Isn't he going to summon?
As far as I know, a summoned beast's power is several times stronger than an ordinary human, so only a summoned beast can only fight against another summoned beast. But it seems like Ironman isn't going to summon one.
"So sensei, did you forget that my summoned beast can touch physical objects?"
It's true that normally, an ordinary student's summoned beast can't touch humans, so Ironman can just ignore the existence of the summoned beast and go after the human. However, my summoned beast has the ability of the 'punishment inspector', which allows it to touch humans and use it's tremendous strength to easily beat Ironman. So in order not to allow me to do whatever I want, Ironman should summon a summoned beast to counter.
"You big idiot. How can I forget what kind of ability does the summoned beast of the one problematic student in our school's history has?"
"But if so..."
"Didn't I say it before, I don't have any marks."
Ironman answered me in an uninterested manner.
So without any marks, he can't summon? If so, this is a once in a million rare chance.
"If so, including all the hatred that I accumulated up till now—TAKE THIS, IRONMAN!"
The summoned beast aims itself at Ironman and charges over. I'll let him think that I'm attacking from the front before jumping to the side and throw my wooden sword at him from a blind angle—
Before I could send out a heavy hit, Ironman swung his fist down.
The wooden sword lets out a clatter as it lands on the floor.
"How can something like this be possible! For an ordinary human to beat a summoned beast...!"
Something must have gone wrong. I shouldn't have used a weapon that I'm not used to, if I used only my summoned beast's strength to fight, I would have beaten him now!
"Yoshii, do you know why I didn't cancel your summoning rights up till now?"
Ironman quickly kicks my summoned beast lightly.
He merely kicked my summoned beast lightly, but it got kicked high into the air. Has he completely grasped the rhythm of my breathing?
"Oh my, good thing you're a punishment inspector. If it's just hitting a summoned beast—then it shouldn't be considered corporal punishment, right?"
Flying high into the air, my summoned beast is defenceless as it shows itself before Ironman.
"Eh? I never felt that corporal punishment—"
"GRIT YOUR TEETH AND DIE!!"
In an instant, I got hit by his fist 5 times.
The sharp pain that caused my sight to go dark reverberates throughout my body.
How, how can there be such a ridiculous punch? Just the recoil from the punch alone is enough to flip all the contents in my gut...
"However, since you did attack in a manly way, I won't let you get suspended. For gentle and kind Nishimura-sensei to be your opponent, don't you feel lucky?"
Ironman cracks his knuckles as he moves towards my summoned beast.
Not good, not good at all. A kind teacher would have let me off here!
"Oh my, I'm not a devil. I'll let you go once you take my counselling lesson—and that goes for those three as well."
Looking over at where Ironman is looking at, Yuuji, Hideyoshi and Muttsulini were already subdued.
"Alright. First, you'll write a letter of remorse in English. If any word or alphabet is written wrongly, you have to rewrite it no matter how many times! Those who finished can go back to sleep."
Thus, the four of us ended up with the fate of having to kneel on the corridor and write a letter of remorse in English.
- A little brick joke that was mentioned in Me and Thugs and a Love Letter, where Minami protested to Akihisa that she was wearing grassy green underwear. The story was dated between volumes 1 and 2 (according to author's notes of volume 3.5)