Kokoro Connect:Volume 5 Pentagon++
Pentagon ++
——I failed the entrance exam of the public high school of my choice.
Even though it was supposed to be the best high school around the district, the passing rate for this mock exam was around 80%.
I could only think that, perhaps I wasn't good enough, or perhaps I was just unlucky.
Speaking of which, one of the fellas in my cram class who had far worse performances in school seemed to have been admitted.
Tough luck.
In the end, I enrolled for Yamaboshi Private High School. It was a school with fairly competitive promotion rate; allegedly, its school ethos was supposed to be good as well. That being said, it was bound to be a little upsetting.
It was grey right off the start.
I thought it was quite fitting for me in a sense.
Weren't most people's lives like this too?
...As I was thinking that, a strange, conincidental coincidence coincidentally came forth.
Was it coincidental? Actually, was it predetermined?
Those people I encountered. They gleamed with a certain brightness that irritated me.
So bright it made me feel sick.
I supposed those kind of people did exist after all.
People who gleamed like a fool in this faintly corrupted world.
However, those kind of people were bound to end up like me.
In other words, they would slowly be corrupted. That was how 'normal' supposed to be.
But on rare occasions, there were those who would never be corrupted. I knew that quite well myself.
Those who were born blessed with incredible luck.
Yet I still pondered from time to time.
How would these people end up?
And... Why did I think they were gleaming?
It was unbelievable. It felt puzzling. It felt mysterious. I wanted to know more.
And then perhaps, once I grasped the answer, I could become like that too—— No, not at all.
What nonsense was I thinking?
Of course it wouldn't work out like that.
No way, impossible.
...But I——wanted to know...
...Yes, that was it. I merely wanted to know. Nothing more.
I was definitely not feeling envious or antyhing. Definitely not.
Yes, definitely not.
——I've become high-schooler now. I'm going to change, I thought to myself.
This must be what they would call a debut in high school.
Hmm. Debut. I like the sound of that.
I wasn't exactly trying to become anyone brilliant. I knew where my limit lies after all.
However, even just a little, if there was something or someone that I could look up to, I would be really happy.
A world like those in live dramas.
A world like those in mangas.
Freeing myself from the world I knew.
I wouldn't mind even if I weren't the protagonist of that world. I just wanted to become a resident in its corner.
That being said, I only managed to keep up with such resolve for the first few days of school. Before I realised it, I had returned to the point I used to be.
The surprisingly same, exact point.
Would I stay like this forever?
It might be so. My designated role in the world had long been predetermined.
I knew that very well.
In the end, someone like me should just stay at where I should be.
The world could not change that.
The world could not be changed.
It couldn't be helped. The world is very, very huge after all.
From the world's perspective, I was but a puny, nano-sized grain.
A puny person like me would be forgotten before I even stepped on the stage.
Yet, a person like me, was still able to discover such a scene.
It was dazzling.
I had never thought I would be able to see something so dazzling.
The very thing I sought in my dreams was gleaming right there in front of me.
I was shocked. Astonished. Could it really exist? I would never have thought.
And then, I remembered the dream I was about to give up.
Perhaps I could actually achieve it now——
No no no, no way. Not with me.
I didn't have the right, nor the worth. I couldn't bring myself to destroy that world.
No no, but...
But, if I could...
Ah, impossible, impossible! What was I thinking?
Not with me. No way.
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