Zero no Tsukaima:Volume8 Chapter7 - MTL

The cold night continued.

Seemed like the night would last forever. But, when at last morning came, and she goes to sleep. She wakes up at noon and goes to sleep again. Repeating such sort of slumber eventually makes ones head foggy.

Two weeks passed… after using Summon Servant and learning about Saito’s death. During all this time, Louise never went even a single step out of her room. Time to time she gets off the bed to eat the dishes placed at her door. She didn’t care anymore who it was placing it there.

Only in her dreams Louise could meet Saito. Therefore, Louise tried to sleep all day long. Whenever she cannot fall asleep, she drinks wine. For Louise, the distinction between morning and night already lost its meaning. The curtains in her room are always closed, so it is always dim.

Such way of life gradually devours the boundary between the day and the night.

The verge between dream and reality becomes ambiguous too.

However, this was the only world that Louise longed for.

She wanted to stay forever in this dream world where she could meet Saito.

Even if someone knocks on the door, Louise does not answer. In order not to hear if someone calls her, she stuffed her ears with cotton. All locks were locked, preventing anyone from entering the room. She hugged her pillow as if it was Saito… closing her eyes and pressing her cheeks against it.

Saito in the dreama always… gently embraces Louise, holding her close.

And did it many times with love.

This was the ideal Saito of Louise’s subconsciousness.

From the bottom of her heart, she wanted to be with the beloved familiar.

…On the evening of that day, Louise had a dream about Saito.

They were strolling together on the Ragdorian lake’s side.

“The water is beautiful.”

“Indeed.”

Hand in hand, the couple walked around the lake.

Louise was wearing black dress and black beret, like on her first date with Saito. That appearance was mirrored by a beautiful surface of the water.

“Here, the water spirit was seen, right?”

“Aye.”

They did not talk much.

All words seemed plain and useless.

It felt that, uttering them would break this little world of theirs.

A warm world of illusions of cracked glass, even if it was swallowed further and further by the darkness – that’s how it felt.

“Louise, hey, come here. This light reflected on the water is very beautiful.”

“Waa, truly beautiful!”

“But, not as beautiful as you, Louise.”

“S-stop saying silly things!”

“It is true. I think you are more beautiful than anyone. So, I want to be together. Always together.“

“Then, you won’t go anywhere, right?”

“Aah, I won’t go anywhere.”

Deep inside Louise knew; this was just a dream. But she kept on repeating a bad acting play of her and Saito. In fact, she was the only spectator watching it.

“I have something to tell you.”

“What?”

Louise muttered embarrassed as she stepped into the water.

“Stop it Louise. The water is cold, you’ll freeze.”

There is something about the things said in this water. Maybe because of water spirit. Spirit of the oath. An oath given her will never be broken…

In a dream, Louise wanted to tell it to Saito.

“…I want to swim. Why don’t we swim together?”

“All right. If you get cold, I’ll warm you up.”

So…

It was a dream.

True, Saito is not that gentle.

Still… she was happy. Because it’s impossible for her and reality Saito to meet again…

-Pachpach- Saito entered into the water.

She thought he was going towards her, but was wrong.

Steadily, Saito went further into the lake.

“Saito… Where are you going?

Saito waved her back with a smile.

“Stop! You’ll drown!”

Slowly… Saito's body disappears in the water. Louise ran after.

“Wait! Do not go! Please!”

However, Louise's shouts did not reach him. Saito went fully under the water.

Louise ran towards him, splashing the water.

Seeing Saito, as if asleep, sinking further to the bottom of the water, Louise went in a half-frenzy.

“Wait! No! No, don‘t go there! I said stop!“

Saito’s figure became smaller and smaller.

“Wait! Please!”

“Wait!”

Louise sprang to her feet. It was pitch-dark in the room. It was a night, apparently. Waking up at night, leads her to despair. Though it’s not much different in the morning, but while awaking at night, her tiredness is stronger.

Yet, Louise did not ease about the dream. It is the same – dream or reality. Either way, same pain in her chest, same feeling of guilt on Louise.

That day, when Saito left, she criticized him non-stop.

“Where are you, Saito?”

She understood.

“Is it… cold in there? Like on the bottom of Ragdorian’s lake… is it cold and sunshine-less?”

Saito stands in the place where I can’t go… where my voice will never reach him. Though she knows that, she cannot help saying it.

“I want to meet you.”

Louise closed her eyes.

And… she muttered in a fading voice.

“Can I go too?”

No tears left. Just a body, dully wrapped in helpless numbness.

“I cannot bear it anymore. I cannot bear the parting in the dream. Therefore, can I go to the place where you are?”

Louise knew.

There’s only one way to get there…

But, this would be betrayal of everything.

Duty to the mother country, mission as Void user… hopes and beliefs, beloved people… and Saito too, who died to save her… she would be betraying that too.

Louise understood that well. However, she could not think of anything else.

But, now being saved meant to meet her kind familiar again, only this way.

“I want to tell you those words. Those that I could not utter even in my dream… So, can I go to meet you? I want to say them by all means. I want to tell them to you… So, forgive me.”

Louise rose from the bed and headed towards the door barefooted.

* * *

Midnight. 　

Louise chose the artillery tower, where people come rarely. She could not remember how she got there. She just noticed when she already stood on the rooftop. The roof of the round tower was a staircase leading towards the hole in the stars and nothingness. A too low stone fence enclosed around the circumference of the roof.

-tap tap tap- Louise approached the stone fence and climbed on top of it.

When she stood there, she looked down to the ground. It was pitch-dark and nothing below could be seen. Yet, she felt that somewhere on the other side of darkness, Saito waited for her.