Major Chapter 2 Enhancement
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- Astral Realm
Major Chapter 2 Enhancement
this is one enhancement that came 1.5 years too late.
due to the cringe-worthy English I used back then in order to be as literal in the translation as possible, I made major enhancements to the prologue, and promised to follow up on chapter 2 and 3 as well.
well, now I did. and I apologise for the delay.
but, I am about 60% done with the brand new chapter 2. its on a word document now. but this probably meant some of the editing done on the current document will go to waste.
I am just wondering if I can replace the contents of the current wiki (or something along the lines of moving it to another location), or do I have to put it as a preview?
hope there are enough active members here to get some replies~
due to the cringe-worthy English I used back then in order to be as literal in the translation as possible, I made major enhancements to the prologue, and promised to follow up on chapter 2 and 3 as well.
well, now I did. and I apologise for the delay.
but, I am about 60% done with the brand new chapter 2. its on a word document now. but this probably meant some of the editing done on the current document will go to waste.
I am just wondering if I can replace the contents of the current wiki (or something along the lines of moving it to another location), or do I have to put it as a preview?
hope there are enough active members here to get some replies~
- Dan
- Square Mage
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Re: Major Chapter 2 Enhancement
You're the translator mate! Go ahead and change the wiki if it's a major change.
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- Astral Realm
Re: Major Chapter 2 Enhancement
Yeah, Vol. 9's current version makes infant whales crap themselves with tears.
Go right ahead and improve it, please.
Go right ahead and improve it, please.
- ore wa ecchi
- Kyonite - The Haruhi Pacifier
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- quigonkenny
- Temporal Time Variant Entity
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Re: Major Chapter 2 Enhancement
Go ahead and wipe it out, deskoh. If there's anything that needs to be changed or tweaked afterwards, or any edits that still need to be done, we can redo them. It'll be good to have something "new" to edit again.
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- Astral Realm
Re: Major Chapter 2 Enhancement
DESKOHHHH!!!!
It's fun to say ^_^.
But yeah, go ahead and do what you want to the chapter, we trust ya.
It's fun to say ^_^.
But yeah, go ahead and do what you want to the chapter, we trust ya.
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- Astral Realm
Re: Major Chapter 2 Enhancement
I am done with the major (and I mean major) enhancement!
But due to some (dumb) formatting problems, I can't put it up yet. Its 4am local time.
Will get some sleep and put it up tomorrow. Thanks for being patient!
EDIT: Is it just me or has the wiki not been loading properly for the past few days
But due to some (dumb) formatting problems, I can't put it up yet. Its 4am local time.
Will get some sleep and put it up tomorrow. Thanks for being patient!
EDIT: Is it just me or has the wiki not been loading properly for the past few days
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- Astral Realm
Re: Major Chapter 2 Enhancement
And it is up! Enjoy!
Should be doing something to Chapter 3 eventually as well before my work on Volume 9 is completed.
Should be doing something to Chapter 3 eventually as well before my work on Volume 9 is completed.
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- Astral Realm
Re: Major Chapter 2 Enhancement
Deskoh you friggin rock man.
You win an internet!
You win an internet!
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- Astral Realm
Re: Major Chapter 2 Enhancement
I've been enhancing your enhancements. I'm trying to write it in more of a conversational style like in the fansubs and official translation. I'm still not content with a lot of things about the chapter.
Edit: Most of these were answered.
Here's the story so far. Edit: Fixed a few of the above spoilered list.
Please note that my criticism is not personal, I just want to see this book more translated than it is. I do not have access to the originals, and even if I did I'm not fluent in Japanese, so it would be helpful if you could give one hundred percent literal translations for the sticky parts. Then it's up to us to make them flow into the narrative.
Edit: Most of these were answered.
Spoiler! :
Spoiler! :
Last edited by jesse* on Mon Jun 22, 2009 9:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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- Astral Realm
Re: Major Chapter 2 Enhancement
i can only assure you that the (big) and (small) after Asahina-san is how it's written in the original japanese versions, i just checked on one of mine, and they're written like that( in japanese of courrse)
- quigonkenny
- Temporal Time Variant Entity
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Re: Major Chapter 2 Enhancement
Yeah, don't touch the (big) or (small). Doesn't matter if there is a "better way", that's how Kyon differentiates them, and certainly his odd way of doing so is intentional. He does have odd speech patterns from time to time.
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- Astral Realm
Re: Major Chapter 2 Enhancement
It's our job to take his odd speech patterns and make them flow from one language to another. My only real complaint about it is how it messes up the paragraph where Kyon wonders who could be calling, which is almost the same from alpha-1 to beta-1. It just seems there could be a comparable way to say it in English that doesn't produce sentences with "Asahina-san's (big)" something, where it seems the (big) applies to the next item and isn't describing Asahina-san herself.
- Darklor
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Re: Major Chapter 2 Enhancement
I dont see a problem with that. He did differenciate always both Asahinas like that. And we all know that (small) or (big) after Asahina-san always belong to Asahina-san.
But I wonder when he met Asahina-san (big) this morning - I couldnt remember that...
btw. arent those "will"s not wrong? Shouldnt that be "would"s, too?
But I wonder when he met Asahina-san (big) this morning - I couldnt remember that...
Spoiler! :
Please don't mind my bad english since I'm german.
Darklor
Out of the dark, into the dark.
Darklor
Out of the dark, into the dark.
- quigonkenny
- Temporal Time Variant Entity
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Re: Major Chapter 2 Enhancement
Well, if that's your only problem, there's an easy fix for that:jesse* wrote:It's our job to take his odd speech patterns and make them flow from one language to another. My only real complaint about it is how it messes up the paragraph where Kyon wonders who could be calling, which is almost the same from alpha-1 to beta-1. It just seems there could be a comparable way to say it in English that doesn't produce sentences with "Asahina-san's (big)" something, where it seems the (big) applies to the next item and isn't describing Asahina-san herself.
Asahina-san(big)'s [something]
In the original Japanese, one doesn't have a problem with understanding it, since there's no "'s" in Japanese, and the (big) would not be in the same place you had it. In Japanese, as written in the novels, the above example would be:
Asahina-san (dai) no [something]
So why not just do it the same way in English. I myself have started referring to (big) or (small) by sticking it right on the end without a space. Just treat it like it's part of the name and have the possessive modifier go after it. Just like in Japanese.
And our job is not necessarily to make the language flow in English. Not if it didn't flow in the original Japanese. The (big)s and (small)s don't flow well in either.
I'm also pretty sure Kyon uses malapropisms from time to time, like using "alienate" to mean "alien" (adj) or "alien-like". Well, I'm not quite sure if "malapropism" is the correct term, actually. I guess "GeorgeWBushism" would be a more accurate term. Where you know what he means, but it's probably not the correct term or possibly even a real word.